A few nights ago, I answered a call from an old friend to help a girl with Geography. I was told she couldn't pay me at all. I agreed.
I agreed because this girl ran away from a home for delinquent girls and at 22 she decided to study her O level. I thought it would be interesting to meet her. It was actually another lady who is tutoring her Mathematics now that is helping this young woman to ask for help. I spoke to her briefly on the phone and tonight we met at Starbucks at Kallang Leisure Centre.
I was late for the tuition because I had to rush home immediately after work to collect my stuff.
It was cold at Starbucks. I was actually shaking with chills. A lady with long hair, short shorts and a jacket came from behind me. We sat and chatted and I went through the Geography Syllabus with her. She was listening as I showed her how to study from the syllabus.
We chatted for almost 2 hours. I was not trying to find out much from our first meeting but like always, I was able to draw out a few things from her.
I could see she was overwhelmed with sadness. There was a pale yellow about her face but other than that she was alert.
She asked me why I even wanted to teach her since she was from a home. I told her I was helping a friend and most importantly no one can do a better job than me. I am the best she can find because with no charge, not many people will take the job. I told her where I taught at and she just couldn't believe I am willing to sit down with a total stranger and still bring notes and syllabus for her.
I shared about my depression and my desire to kill myself. She listened wide eyed. She told me she tried suicide too. Slashing her wrist didn't kill her and taking many panadols didn't kill her. She told me while she respects my religion, she told me not to tell her to go to God. She doesn't want to believe in God anymore because as a child when she calls out to Him, He never answers her when she was in distress.
She has a really abusive and manipulative mother who prefers the brother than her. She told me her mother can forget to invite her home from her foster parents to celebrate Chinese New Year. She was so badly bruised from a physical abuse when she was fostered out to a nanny when she was only about 6 or 7.
I listened to her. She has more reasons to kill herself. Yet she told me instead of killing herself, she decided to channel her energy to live. Smart woman. She was also physically abused by a few boy friends. She could have given up all hope to live but she chose to be alive. Interesting.
After I sent her home, she told me before she left my car that she would like to see me next Tuesday. She thought I might just go kill myself tonight.
In such a short encounter, she already can tell where I stand in my profession. She is already looking forward to meeting me. We are going to learn together.
I have also asked Peck San for help because I need Peck San to help her with her English.
It is hard to believe, isn't it? We do have children who grew up bitter because they have no love.
God showed me today that I have a purpose. I just need to find what it is.
