Sunday 30/7
Finally managed to upload a photograph of mum. This was taken in Beijng. The flowers came as a surprise to all of us. Mum thought it was sent to the wrong room because we knew no one in Beijing to send such lovely flowers. If you looked at her left palm, you will see it was swollen because of blocked veins in the palm.

We had another interesting morning today. She decided to watch a CD about cancer patients. It was about a teacher who used to teach PE in River Valley High School. He was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and was supposed to die at the age of 58. He is now 72 and still living. He talked about how to drink water. It was believed if you drink a cup of water in 100 mouthfuls, it will be better for health. But most importantly, he emphasised being able to relax and be positive. She was so impressed by the speaker that she began to be careful with how she eats. I will have to sleep now. Talk to you again.

28/7 Friday
It was indeed an eventful morning. Mum went downstairs to have breakfast. She climbed down two flights of steps to the lift landing and then walked about 50m unaided. Many of her qi gong friends were so happy to see her and some even held her arm and cried. They were all just so glad to see her but I kept them at a distance and explained why I needed to do so. I didn't want them too near because her immunity is still not good. One of her friends, the head of the qi gong exercise team, told my mother that when she called, a very fierce woman told her not to come visit at all. I looked her in the eye and told her, I was the one. She was so stunned and she just smiled. I will not apologised for what I did. Before she went to Beijing, she has a wound with tubes coming out of her and she was tired. And to allow them to come would tire her. Knowing she will be most obliged to entertain them, I have no qualms telling them that she needed to rest. I will still do it. In fact one sneaked up to see her and she was so considerate. She sat less than 10 minutes and away she went.

All but one lady was aloof. She was the one who went round telling others that my mother was never away in Beijing but hiding at my sister's. I think she was too embarrassed for words. Some even went as far as saying we couldn't do it because it was impossible to know anyone at the hospital. Well, today, mum and I sat and show them it was possible. I didn't want to go down to explain because it was tiring. But she wanted to see her friends. Two of her good friends, both Hakkas (my mother is a Hakka) now learn to push people who are too near her.

After the breakfast, she felt so good. But I had to tell my mother that she has to strengthen her body and I gave her one mega antioxidant and COq 30. Do I know what I am giving my mother? Yes, I read all the prescriptions and go ask the doctor what each is doing to her body. Mum said that even after the radiation has stopped, she continues to feel that the area is warm. But today she ate a lot more.

Later this morning, another lady came to visit my mother in our flat. She told my mother it is important to drink 100 mouthfuls from a cup of water. Since encountering the disease, I have learned so much about how people are trying to prolong their life.

I forgot to mention in my quest for my mother's cure that I have a very supportive group of colleagues who are waiting for my return. It is wonderful working where I am now because the teams I am involved in are all very caring people. I also have friends who were with me way back in my NIE days some 20 odd years ago who support me with prayers and encouragement. I also didn't forget my students I taught at RGS and Chinese High.

Let me share about them tonight. I befriended some 10 girls in 1998. They arrived at the Changi Airport and together with the vice principal Mrs Chan, I went to meet them. I felt very burdened to meet them because these girls never left home before and must be in total culture shock. Being an international student before, I understood how that felt. Within two years, we built a special bond. The second year, they became buddies to the new students. Today, these 10 girls and I are more than friends. I am grateful to have known them. One such girl is Danni. She is now working on her Masters in Hotel Management. She stayed with me for 5 days when she completed her O levels. When she heard my mother took ill seriously she called me. Then I asked if she could help me with lodging. Danni actually called Beijing for me and went online to check for accomodation. Much thanks to her. Another student, Xiao Yu also recommended her friend to me. Last night, I finally met the student I needed to meet badly online. He is zhenyu. He promised to help me and will travel to any part of beijing to come meet me. He is studying in Bei Da.

As a teacher, be careful where you travel. I was telling Joshua how I just knew I would meet my students in Beijing. He told me that he is probably the only one who is taught by me and in Beijing. I told him, I just knew I am going to bum into my students. And I really did. She heard my voice and shouted my name in Xidan. I was busying trying to walk to the diner. Joshua called me to stop and then it was my RGS student, a student I taught Geography when she was in Sec 2. She remembered me. Wow! Great stuff. So be careful little feet where you walk or you will bump into your students. They are everywhere...

I praise and thank God for a great day. Everyday is a good day. The bad, let's just forget them.

Good night

Thursday, 27/7
I arrived Singapore this morning at 1am. I slept at 4am and woke up at 730 to do all the unpacking. Dad was already up and he was trying to get everything organised for a special family friend who will be visiting tomorrow. This is my dad's colleague, Uncle Biu from Hong Kong. Mum and I visited him last year and was treated to a great dinner. In April his wife died while on their way to the hospital because of a severe flu. He wrote a letter to tell us just when my mother knew about the cancer. Mum read the letter rather calmly and instead of lamenting about her condition, she was concerned about Uncle Biu. When we heard he is coming and such perfect timing, we were glad. My dad and him went all the way back to their youth while working at the American Marines. To keep this friendship alive is certainly not a small feat.

Our flight with Air China was delayed by three hours. They served dinner 45 minutes before take off while we were still at the airport. I was already at the airport at 12 and we were served dinner at 5pm. Thank God I took my parents for lunch instead of waiting for it. Mum didn't eat much but I kept her chewing on american ginseng and then I left it on the plane. She did try to rest and this time, I kept her really warm with two sets of blankets, made her cover her head and she was really cute. She behaved like a little child, very obedient.

One day, I asked her what was bothering her about the food. I told her I know she forced herself to eat and I appreciated that very much but it is not enough. I wanted to know exactly what was turning her off. Was it the smell of the restaurant? Was it the smell of the food? the oil, the texture of the food? She told me the mouth didn't want to eat and refused to cooperate while the stomach growled. She said today she may want sweet sour pork, the next day she may just want porridge with soya sauce. But every morning, she prefers a continental breakfast with two sunny side up, a toast with jam and one sausage. She also finished all the salads. I also noticed at meals when you talk to her, she eats more. So now here is the trick. I make sure some one sits with her to eat and gets her talking and then she eats much more. This afternoon, dad steamed a small piece of fish and boiled water cress soup for her. She ate half a bowl of rice, drank a whole bowl of soup and ate the entire fish fillet. I sat and ate with her at lunch. Tonight, the whole family including my cousin Lad were here. The kids ate at a smaller table and the adults all sat around her to get her chatting. She ate well tonight. Thank you for praying. Her weight is 103 pounds.

Before I continue, I forgot to tell all of you that when I was in Beijing writing my blog, I could not preview the blog and it was written on a different keyboard (the chinese version). So pardon my poor expressions.

Right now she is sleeping. She has been awake since 0730 today. But she did some chores, tell us what to do, and even helped get dinner ready.

As the miracle unfolds before your eyes, please remember it is all about Jesus.

There is a story in the bible that talks about people who work in the vineyard. Those who came earlier to work in the vineyard are paid the same as those who came late. I remember this story well because it is true. My mother may be a very young christian, but her faith is tremendous. I on the other had seemingly know God and yet I am not that great. So what is important is not how long you have become a christian but what is the kind of relationship you have with the father.

I really cannot open my eyes now. I read the comments and most grateful for the tips.

Sleeping...........................

Tuesday 25/7
Tomorrow I will be leaving Beijing and all the rain. Please pray for good weather. Air China tends to delay if there is a fog, any airline will.

Today mum looks tired and she really listened to me and slept and prepare for the trip tomorrow. Please continue to pray she will rest well tonight. We are all packed and ready to go.

There are lots of bags of clothes and medicine. I just got back from the medical hall, the medical hall of the emperor for medicine to improve her health. Cost me much. Found out this morning that my bank account is low. Sigh. Will have to top up soon.

Brought dad with me when I went to Xidan and he was at the Beijing Books Building. We bought two books. One to know how to cook for her and another about cancers. We spent about an hour just to the medicine section.

Then we went to Cian Men (Front Door) to visit the famous Tong Ren Tang. And then we rush home only to find mum watching television. She had her brands essence of chicken when we got back and looking happy we are home.

Tonight's dinner was not to her liking but she ate the veggies. She smelled the soup and she got turned off. I couldn't eat too when I saw she couldn't eat. I think I managed just a teaspoon of rice and one stalk of veggie and two small bowls of soup. Mum ate more than me. In fact she had half a bowl of rice. Pray tomorrow will be better.

Pray that there is no fog. The weather here is finicky. Rather cold. Last evening, I was caught in the rain. The rain was icy cold. I was wondering why nobody dare brave the rain so I did. I was stupid without an umbrella, I walked about 100m to the entrance of the train station, and paid 3 yuan to get underground to go across to buy nothing from the mall and then to walk out into the rain again to catch a bus home. That was yesterday. Today I am smarter. My dad had an umbrella he bought yesterday and I had my rain coat and the drizzle was good. We were prepared for the worst storm but only to be greeted by pitter patter.

One thing to add to the commedations of Beijing people. The bus conductors are wonderful. They will tell you off when you are seated on the seat for the weak and the elderly. One of them held on to my dad when he was trying to get ready for the next stop to get off. Not just the bus conductor but another lady too held on to him because the bus was not moving well. On the trains, the people automatically give him the seat. I am impressed.

But when you get on the bus with them, you got to push your way in...they are big.

People everywhere in Beijing because of the summer. The people are expecting a very hot summer immediately after teh 23/7 but to their surprise, they had heavy downpour. So it is important to pray for clear skies when we fly at 1525 tomorrow.

Please pray that mum will find a place to rest before boarding and sleep through when in flight. I am arming myself with ginseng for her to suck, biscuits for her to chew, aloe vera for her to munch and isotonic drink for both mum and dad.

Pray my mother will remember God's presence with her and God's love embrace her again and again.

See you soon, my dear friends. But I will take time to call on all of you because I really need to go to the bank and start on my work with NIE. I miss home terribly and miss my messy room that dad cleaned up when I am gone. I miss my work. Miss my rest...miss this, miss that...miss...

Monday 24/7
I was reminded to keep my blog alive this morning while on my way to finalize wheel chair assistance for my mother. We will be arriving Singapore International Airport on Wednesday night at about 9pm. Please pray for the following:
That mum will be able to sleep right through the flight with little disturbance and discomfort from the area that was just radiated.
That she will rest well on Tuesday and spend the day sleeping and trusting the Lord.
That she will be able to sleep well tonight and all nights and that her gas pains will settle with the medication I brought with me from Singapore. She complained about gastric pain and has subsided since I gave her the pill.

What happened over the weekend was rather rough. She didn't have much appetite and my dad kept feeding her and asking her to go out and try walking. But she was tired and panted when the walk becomes too long. But I must say she walked without feeling breathless for more than 30 minutes and has since improved. But she has decided to rest.

Her mind is very strong and I told her that if she tells herself she can sleep, she can. I told her to quit telling herself that she never sleeps and that she only snores all the time. How could that be? I never have time to find out more but may be she never hit REM all the time but some time she must have hit REM sleep.

Last night was the best since my dad arrived. He prayed with mum. But there was utter silence. I was wondering what was happening since he volunteered to pray with her. He sat up on the floor and clasped his hands and then silence. Mum had to ask "What are you doing?" while I laughed out loud when he said he was praying in his heart. Any way upon my mother's insistence, he prayed out loud. The prayer was one simple prayer for healing his wife and he named her before the Lord. Then he went on to remind Jesus that Mdm Liew Nget Min, his wife is His child and He promises to take care of her. The simple faith of my dad who just started going to church and quit smoking once my mother became ill.

Today, my mother was eating better. I finally found where downtown Holiday Inn in Beijing is. I was with dad yesterday to have dim sum and today, I went to buy roast pork, and chinese spinach for lunch for them both. The meal costs a lot but it was worth it when my mum just savoured a lot of food. I also went hunting for ginseng for her so she could suck on them.

Besides cooking in the toilet of the hospital, I also cooked in the toilet of the hotel. Yesterday I tried cooking rice and burned the pot twice and finally got to work on cooking porridge. She ate some but not much.

Today, I boiled chicken soup with tien qi. I hope this work. Tonight I am trying another new drink. Anything to make her better and increase her blood count will be good.

I am beginning to get use to Beijing. I weave myself throughout their streets, went on their trains, buses and taxis and even an illegal motorbike like anyone of them. Their buses are clean and passengers get to learn some english everyday. Today they learn "See you" on bus 121 and 102. These two buses are some of the buses that will take me to Fucheng Men where the Beijing Station is. I either go there to shop or take a train to Xidan to shop. I found I could not shop at Sogo here. Too expensive. I got used to the cheap pricing and loving it. I only ate at KFC once because I needed the loo badly other wise it is local food. If not because my mother is so sensitive to the local food smells here, I would try everything once. But no courage to try duck blood, duck tongue, duck necks (famous here) and some of the cold cuts...the colour just did not agree with me as I prefer salamis and ham much better.

The people in Beijing are basically very busy people. They talk very loud and one minor incident can draw crowds. Many will stand around and stare as the two parties try to settle their problems. But the police is very effective here. Just like this evening, I was caught in the rain. There was a heavy jam and the traffic police were around to make sure the already bad jam did not get worse. I must also commend the city for its effort to keep Beijing clean. The main streets are clear of litter but don't venture too deep into the hutongs. There is a different Beijing. Very difficult to find dustbins around la.

My favourite place so far has been the book store. It is called the Beijing Book Store. It is huge. The books are cheap but they are all in mandarin. Good thing for me, I can read them all. Some locals were shocked by my mandarin and asked where I was from. I asked them to guess, they said "Taiwan!" Well, even if I am taiwanese, I will to death not proclaim I am from Taiwan now that the Bian case is so convoluted. I told them to guess again...then they said that they knew of no other country outside of China that could speak mandarin. I told them I am a Singaporean and I speak more than just mandarin. I speak English, Hokkein, Cantonese, Malay and Hakka. They were speechless. I am grateful that Our MM has the foresight to get us to work on our Chinese Language.

Talking about propaganda. Every evening at 7pm, all the channels will air the news on government issues and eveything about China. It is like a report of the day. I like that. The government is rather transparent. My mother and I are getting to enjoy the China shows. Mum is particularly fond of the the singing competition involving sopranos and those stuff, while I am interested in Men Xiang Chung Guo. The Hong Kong serials, taiwanese Serials and Korean Dramas are on for more than 5 hours a day in the afternoon. But I saw them all liao so, it is more like recap. So besides keeping watch over my mother, buy books and stuff, i do entertain myself with the TV.

Dad is bored. So tomorrow I will take him to Xidan. He refuses to go to the palace alone without his wife. I asked him to go to the great wall because he is man...I am woman, so even if I go, I won't be a great man. Hahaha.

But I went to the palace, saw where the emperor stayed and where his concubines and queen quarrelled and come to one conclusion...so what...a house, is a house, is a house.

There is much to be thankful for and I cannot wait to go home to share them with all of you. But there is much to be praying for too. Praying for my parents to be able to spend the best times of their lives together.

I always believe I should never trouble anyone ( a philosophy my mother embraced all her life and taught me well) and if I can do it, I should do it myself. I never think anyone would care about me, and get worried about where I will be or if I will be hurt and sad. This July, I realize I have made many people worried about me. That is a good feeling and something I need to feel for a long time. It has certainly changed the way I live because now I have to be accountable to all of you for what is happening to me and my mother.

I have openly shared about my family. My mother did not even object because she knows that you will all be praying for her recovery and her desire to draw closer to God. I trust you my friends.

It is certainly a good feeling to know some one out there worries for me. I never ever knew what it is like to have someone thinking about my well being. Thank you and good night.

Will blog again.
Ciao

Wednesday 19/7
Thank you for praying and many have messaged to wonder what happened to me.I am well and so is mum. I have been very busy with cooking and caring for mum. However I would be totally exhausted if not for the help of my godson, Joshua. I want to thank Mrs Catherine Lam for allowing Joshua to come and help me out. Without her blessings, I don't know if I could cope better without my brother Richard around to help me. I needed someone to watch over mum so I could go out hunting for food and cooking for her. I need help to have someone watch over her while they put in the needles. There were occasions where her hands swelled up because the veins were blocked. Some of the nurses were young and they tend not to be good with needles and I didn't want them to experiment on mum's veins too much since she was already on IV while at Mt A.

Joshua volunteered to come and help me when he heard about my mum's condition. It was a good change for mum too. She interacted with him rather quickly and very soon started to tease Joshua. We could tell she was having a good time teaching him some new tricky cantonese terms. Every morning mum would go watch the locals exercise qi gong or tai chi. One morning I managed to get her to do one set of Tai Chi. I joined in too. But not for long.

Each night before she went to bed, I would have to read the bible in cantonese with her and then pray with her. I believe my sister Rebecca is better at this. I find myself too much of a Martha. But we prayed.

One morning towards the end of last week, mum looked glum and when I asked her why she was so glum, she told me that even if she was cured, it would only be a few years. I turned around from my cleaning of the floor and told her that if she wanted to go home, we can. Then she said, but we were half way through. Actually we were about 4 treatments away from completion. I told her it is not how long we live that mattered but what we do with our time that mattered. Such thoughts lingered with me the whole of last week.

Who decides enough is enough for one person? If cancer is terminal then is time really the essence of things or is it the quality? What is the quality of life for cancer patients and their families?

I looked at my family. How should we live the next year, two years or three? Let me say that every day, the phone will ring for my mother. The grand kids all took turns to speak with her. Theodora, only 3 will ask if po po read her bible today and Ryan will ask if she slept or eat well. Stacia will be giggling and mum will be roaring with her. Such is life now. We band together with our differences and many disagreements with one objective, to get mum on the road of recovery. But in all this lies my father, a very anxious man who finally arrived this monday to spend time with her. He was grouchy upon arrival. Even the Peking duck was not nice to him (I intended to take him there the night he arrived). He found many reasons to find fault with the city but all the complaining stopped when he saw mum. She chided him for his complaining attitude and then he was calmed. Perhaps this is the way he deals with his stress. My father has cried more than twice about his concerns for mum on the phone. When I asked him to come he told me the pain was too much to bear to see his wife in pain. I told him that as much as he didn't want to face the pain, he has to face it because ultimately he will have to come back with her for checkups and further treatment. Because of mum, dad has also cut down on the number of days for his driving and that means a cut in their income. Because of mum and to see her, he actually quit smoking. Such is the power of love.

I remember one morning when mum very strongly said that no matter what she will get him to truly know Jesus before she dies. She also told me one morning she saw Jesus in her sleep.Ａman dressed in white gown walked beside her and led her to a place that she was not familiar with and then she saw a familiar face. When she turned up to look at the man in a white gown, he looked middle eastern...I am not sure if Jesus looked like that but that gave me a chance to remind her that Jesus brought her to Beijing and He will bring her home. And she smiled that day and never mentioned about living a short life then.

The therapy sessions are over. She put on more than 2 kg and looks pink. Her appetite is improving．At least today, this morning, she had a haircut and we went to eat Peking duck. She ate very well. Just before I came down to blog, she had half a bowl of instant noodles that dad brought from Singapore. She jokingly said that if Joshua were to see her, she would be fat. Joshua left this morning. He thanked me for everything. I was close to tears because I should be the one to thank him for everything. Because he came, I was able to find someone to talk to and let off some steam. He is better at cheering my mother because I am the medic feeding her the medicine and making sure she eats them all. So I am grateful for his kind gesture and eating all the brinjals that can supposedly make people mad. Mum has taken a great liking to brinjals here and almost every meal there is brinjal in different cooking styles. I tried cooking home food using the microwave and I prepared the food in the toilet. I had to be quick so the matron doesn't smell anything and so far, so good...ahahhahah. But not all the time mum ate my food. One moment she said okay, the next moment she said she didn't even want to smell it.

Tomorrow we are going for one more blood check. Then I should be able to check for my ticket and rearrange. I am hoping to be able to come home next week. Pray for wisdom. Pray for strength.

I am totally exhuasted and brain dead. I function every day knowing God is my strength and that many many people are praying for us. Continue to pray．I will give my parents more time alone...ahhahaha so that I can find time for myself which I have not been able to do so in Beijing.

Will blog again...

5/7/2006
Mum was up and watching exercising and doing tai chi. She was a martial art fan and was part of the Jing Wu Association as a youth. She parasail when she was 54 and except for a fact she is a poor swimmer, she does everything daring. I am unlike her. Anything is too much for me. She thoroughly enjoyed the session as she sat back to watch and relax. She took the morning gladly in and after breakfast, I cleaned her up. She has 4 dots in her abdomen area. These are marks to tell the radiographer this evening where they should position the machine. I told her that probably there is no spread since they are not working on an area anyway farther than the liver. She told me she rather not know and not tell her body that. After her breakfast I gave her aloe vera juices and then went to clean the toilet up and also mop the floor. Dr Lee came in to tell us about what she needs to do and what she needs to eat and we listened attentively. Later, Richard and I went shopping for little things that we didn't know we need until we are here.
Beijing is HUGE. There are many many malls and the one we went to is sort of like the good old chinatown. We got to bargain and it was not an easy task. I bought a tea pot and one bowl and plate to add to the mismatch dinner set.
We hunted some porridge and managed to find some desserts I thought mum would like. She like the buboh hitam with red bean. Then it was 5pm. She has to be ready for the radiation. She took one anti nausea pill. Richard wheeled her to the room while I went to exchange the pot I bought. It leaked. When I came back she was already in the room. She ate the dinner I bought and enjoyed the rice thoroughly. I spent 24 yuan on my dinner and fed 3 people with extras to throw. Too full la.
I paid 30 dumplings for 12 yuan, pork and mushroom rice at 8 yuan, wanton soup for 4 yuan. I took a taxi to the hospital at 23 yuan. To eat in Beijing is super cheap. Beijing is hot today. Very dusty. Now sitting beside me is one smoker. I better end of here before I suffocate.
Thank You for praying. May the Lord bless you richly. Continue to pray that the tumour is arrested and die. We are praying for a miracle and we know it is a miracle. If you know of someone who may need the same kind of treatment, please let me know.

4/7/06
When I went back to the hospital to see mum at about 0830, she was up and ready. The fever broke by midnight but not after she cried. She cried because she said she caused her children much great difficulty. I only knew about this while she was having lunch. I told her that we are indeed priviledged to be on this journey with her. Not only did she bring us together as a family and she has shown us how we should value life. I told her that many people prayed for her and what she had today is not a small feat.

This morning major people came to see her. The top liver expert in the whole of China, the first specialist and the most renown in the world is looking into her case and came to see her and chatted with her. Dr Xia is a very calm man and suggested I should lose some weight. In fact the only fat people around are those beyond 60 years of age. I fit perfectly into the picture. He told me the diet I put my mum on I should be on it. Very funny! He said that cancer patients like any patient need to eat to get on well to fight. Wow! And this is from a doctor in China.

Then the resident doctor of the VIP ward we are in took special care. The first day we arrived, she asked many questions. Questions I was so sick of answering because I had to revisit my mum's illness. I chose to avoid the pain but I realized today that she is a lung expert and because she took my mother under her care, she actually did immediate research about the illness and found tons of information. I found that they are very thorough and they are very focussed about the disease. There is already medication to shrink the tumour and there is going to be a drip of protein and vitamins for mum. A chinese physician who is also active in research and aware of the illness is also called in to assist with the treatment. Mum will be getting a dose of the medicine after lunch and dinner to ease the bowels and to strengthen the body. How great is our God! No one gets that kind of treatment. If not God then who else?

Today after Dr Xia's visit he specifically told the department to take special care of us. And the treatment is very different today. More smiles today. She is going to have gama knife therapy, a radiation therapy tomorrow. They are doing the positioning of the machine right now as I blog. According to the secretary of Dr Xia an eighty eight year old man came with stage 4 liver cancer and he was completely cured of the illness. She said my mum's case is so much better. Dr Xia was pleasantly surprised to see she is looking good and alert. He saw her fighting spirit. Those who have met my mum will not know she is sick because she radiates a kind of energy only God can give and the strength within is very unique. I cannot beat that.

As I sat with mum while she eats, I told her that God is working in her life and because of her faith she will be healed. I reminded her of the people who are working right now for her and to remember after she get well, to find time for dad and to go places to share about God's love. She proposed that I should speak on her behalf.

I called dad to inform him about the progress and he was driving the cab. He broke down and cried and declared he missed my mother so much. Well, this is love. Love not spoken over the years are now more visible and audible, stronger and committed. At their age, not many couples will declare their love for each other. For my dad, he is really cool!

What is it like to be here? It has been unnerving but God is so good. Without all your prayers I believe I would have collapsed the day I arrived. I chose to hide these two days and watch her. I am tired after two months of constant fighting and keeping cool. I will pick up from today because I know for a fact, mum wants to fight on. She prayed with me last night and said that she believes God's plan is always beautiful and wonderful. How to beat that faith!

Remember the parable of the workers in the vineyard? The last that came into the vineyard for the harvest also were richly rewarded. I have been a Christian for so many years and my faith is not as strong as my mum's and dad's simple faith. They didn't move just mountains. They moved God to intervene. My dad now declares it is the Lord that showed him the mercy. Dad told my uncle and aunts that no matter what, he will keep her alive. Such love for each other, such faith in God.

Now a little about Beijing. Today is dusty and cloudy. People here are tall and they eat really oily and salty foods. But the food here is super cheap. Imagine the little baby pau, 10 pcs only cost me 60 cents. A bowl of wanton noodle is less than $1and believe me it is good service at the most expensive hotel and of course if you don't order expensive things like fish it is still affordable. I have yet to find time to roam the city but today I need to go to xidan to shop for some stuff. Need to try and boil soups for mum. The hospital doesn't allow me to cook. So I have to think how to do that.

Will talk to you all again.

3/7/2006 Third day in Beijing
This morning mum went for the CT scan and she came back with a fever. We have been fighting to bring down her fever all day. There were a lot of fuss over her and we were told her physical condition is not good. We need to give her some medicine to control the growth of the tumour and they suspect other growth. I was already very disturbed because I have to keep repeating to different nurses who came in about mum's condition until the vice head of radiology came and discuss mum's CT scan from Singapore. I told him I was totally bothered by the repeated answers I have to give and wondered if they could just read the report that was prepared before asking me. He told me to tell them to ask him in the future. That was a relief. He queried as to why I was in Beijing instead of staying in Singapore. I told him if we stay on in Singapore, my mother will die in 6 months. He said the doctors we are going to meet are going to extend her life up to three or even five years or more. He is going to suggest putting in a fibre like thread that will block the flow of blood to that section of the liver to cause the cells to die there first before radiation. There was a meeting tonight and probably will know more tomorrow.
Frankly I don't have much stomach to take in anymore but I am very grateful to my brother who is going through the tests with my mum. He also counsels her at night. Mum was there when the doctor talked about the illness and she was the one who asked how long she will live. She said 20 years is a bit too long and she may not have the energy. Her spirit is positive but her body is weak. So please pray for her that the fever will go down and no more fever tomorrow or any other day so treatment can start.

One thing about people in Beijing, may be it is the military hospital I am in, the people talk loud and shouts across doors. They were very surprised that I spoke Mandarin so fluently and when they found out I can speak English, they are just shocked. But I have to tell them, I speak Malay too and all the dialects. They asked me why I come back to mother land....hahahahah. I wanted to say, my mother is with me, and we landed.

I must find my sense of humour but pray for my mother she is fighting a virus.

2/7/06
Arrival in Beijing. The flight was rather tiring for mum. She was in pain anally again because she went to force herself before she went on board the plane. She was so cold that I had to give her panadol and asked the steward to raise the temperature for her. She had three blankets on and still cold. But after the panadol, she was so much better. We have no problems clearing custom because she was on wheel chair. Even at Beijing, we were the last to leave and the first to clear customs. There was no fan fare but we were driven straight to the hotel, dumped our luggage and then off to the hospital which is like less than 5 mins walk from the hotel. By now, mum was totally exhausted from the flight and the pain. She could hardly walk but we dragged her up the steps, not many, and then settled her to give her some biscuits which she ate gladly.
I was told she could have rice and you should see how she complained I starved her for a whole three weeks without rice.
Then we took her to the hotel to have dinner which she ate happily but tiredly. We were supposed to send her to hospital after taking her out for a meal but decided to put her to sleep in the hotel since we paid for it already. She slept soundly and woke up at 0530 to ask for wanton noodles. Richard came back from the hospital to tell her that he found a place where it served wanton soup. She woke up and asked her if she could then. The sun rose bright and sunny at 0530 like it was 8am in Singapore. We told her to go back to bed and would take her when we slept enough...which was like another 90mins.
After we washed up at 0800, mum and Richard went down for breakfast while I tidy up the room so that it won't be so messy. Mum was already eating the wanton soup when I arrived and she was so so happy. We walked her to the hospital. She was walking steadily and happily.

I was disturbed last night by the resident doctor at the hospital. She asked alot of questions that sort of unnerved me very much. Though she is not the doctor for my mother, she started asking me about how rich we are, what type of cancer, looks like it has spread, are you sure is in the gall. I am like reliving the whole nightmare. I went back to the hotel tired and don't know what to think.

But this morning there was sunshine again. I am reminded about God. This sunshine is not the sun in Beijing but my mother's smile on her face and she even joked about things. Both Richard and I came back from shopping. There was nothing at the hospital except for the beds, hot water to drink, fully air conditioned room. We bought toilet paper, a knife, a cup, a bowl and detergent, dish cloth etc. It is liveable now.

Tonight she has a great dinner. She ate chicken and rice. She even obediently drank the aloe vera chinese tea and told me she liked it. I also bought some almonds, very different from those in Singapore and she ate them.

The nurse came and did a special test to see if she is sensitve to the dye for the CT scan. Tomorrow they are getting her stools tested as well as her urine. Please pray that the cancer has not spread and is confined only to the liver. Pray for more faith for me. I need to rest in the Lord and I have not been able to since I arrive. Pray for my mother as she goes for the treatment that the Doctor knows what best to give. May you intercede for my mother's behalf from the Lord to heal her completely.