Tough Sunday...

This weekend I have to send off two very special people. Aaron leaves tonight. He told me not to go because he was afraid he would be very upset. Well, I was already crying at home when I read his message. It was difficult to send anyone off for me. My policy is always to say HELLO. 

The last time when Bonita sent me off after my graduation. The last hug was devastating. I sobbed in the toilet for so long and could not breathe. From then on, I will not hug anyone before I fly home. I am of course much better with age.  Tomorrow Peck San leaves for UBC. I will not be sending her too. Waiting for her to get back from Vancouver and we will go for crabs again.


The sermon today was about PAIN. Can we emerge better and not bitter about the pain that GOD gives us? It was very thought provoking and a time of reflection for me.  GOD is telling me alot of things the past week.

Why did GOD give pain? Because pain is something GOD used to get our attention! It is His way of shouting to us...LISTEN! when we are not paying attention to the warnings HE gave. GOD intends to crush us and make us lowly so we can listen well.


People who are hurt, tend to hurt those around them. This form of selfishness takes the form of self pity and is a pride that is rather masked by depression. And WHY did GOD choose to crush us? Simply because He wants to send a revival. He wants to work a deeper work. It can only occur when we know that we need GOD and no one else to work in our tiny world. GOD needs to work in the humility so we can be lowly before him. Then He will heal our hearts and bring us closer to him. 

God also crushes us when He wants us to check what other gods are cluttered inside us. He wants us to surrender these gods so He can fully occupy our heart. You can say He is a jealous GOD. I can understand why GOD wants that to be done. Can you? Just think for a moment with me. If you study for your exams and your heart is not with you, what would happen? Often times we will do some other thing that study. So GOD wants us to know what is stopping us from drawing closer to Him. Is it the power we have over our work? The reputation? The glory of our successes? In the end can all these save you when you are overwhelmed by the storms of life? We have to ask ourselves this question. So GOD will strip these all bear. He did that for me and He showed me where I had fallen and He revealed the gods that are in my heart that ensnare me. 

God also crushes us so we can look ahead to the future. He promises to stay by our side if we let Him have His way in our lives. God's ways are never the way we thought of. Our ways are always so self centred and safe and predictable. God's ways are unfathomable.

As I reflected over the past months, I learn that I rather have Jesus. Really, everyone in the end will leave. I will be left alone. The storms of life will continue to come in drips. But God will stay through. And He is my Rock. He holds my future in His hand. I bow my heart to Him.

The song below was sung as the closing hymn of the day. I hope you enjoy listening and reflecting on the goodness of our God as the storms of our life find us.




And finally I want to add this about a short exhortation from my pastor. The results of the presidential election 2011 showed the country continues to be unhappy with some issues and want a say. But my pastor cautions us and wants to remember why government leaders are where they are. These leaders ARE CHOSEN BY GOD. God already want them to be there to rule and He sends angels to protect them. I voted because of one thing. I want a president to unify the parliament and to unify the people.  And the person I chose will fit the bill because God convicted me that he is the best choice. Yes, God convicted me. There is a time to rebel. There is a time to obey.

To all Christian Voters: Turn to Romans 13

1 LET EVERY person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For there is no authority except from God [by His permission, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God's appointment. 

2 Therefore he who resists and sets himself up against the authorities resists what God has appointed and arranged [in divine order]. And those who resist will bring down judgment upon themselves [receiving the penalty due them].

3 For civil authorities are not a terror to [people of] good conduct, but to [those of] bad behavior. Would you have no dread of him who is in authority? Then do what is right and you will receive his approval and commendation.

4 For he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, [you should dread him and] be afraid, for he does not bear and wear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant to execute His wrath (punishment, vengeance) on the wrongdoer.

Obedience unto GOD is the most important in our walk with Him. Obedience governs our heart. Disobedience is rebellion and God hates rebellion. Therefore, submit our leaders to God and submit ourselves to God. Pray for our leaders. May God surround them with people who can advise them wisely and may God grant them wisdom to rule us so that peace can continue to abound. 

I think my government will like me very much today...don't you agree?

A visit with my HP boys

It has been a long time since I met my class 4H1. On Wednesday, I drove back to just visit with them. I dropped by to visit Barry. Barry was already at the canteen. He was very glad to see me and so was Li Chi. I didn't inform any of my international students because I really didn't want to have so much attention. A short visit with Barry was great. We caught up a little on the things that went by almost a year now. Word would have gotten around about me in the school after Wednesday.

I sat and waited at the JC canteen for my students. As I entered the area where the canteen was, I met a few students. They greeted me. Some were glad to see me. Others just nodded. I met Gideon who wanted to tell me more about a missionary doctor to Yunnan but I had no time because the boys all came. I met Zhiyuan too. His back is better and he looked good.

When all of them gathered, we chatted. I forgot to buy food for them. Next time my treat. As usual the class, although ventured into different faculties of their choice was happy to see each other. I was so happy to see Clement. He is so bright and smiling. This is a Literature specialist. He writes well and he plays online games. I hope one day he will write a game to get students to like Literature. Then there is Oxford potential like Seow Yong Zhi. You have to address him with his last name. It sounds better. Of course I remember Edwin. The last time we met, I could not remember him. I was feeling terribly bad. I also forgot one name this time. Milton. But I cheated, I asked Yong Hwee. Milton is a lot quieter. He is always busy working behind the scene. Still does. I hope people recognize his effort because he is a dear.

Ah...then I have to make that speech about why they must do well. Why? Because no HP students are groomed the way we groomed them. They are purely HP and have a distinct quality because we trained them to think and to speak. Although they may not know this but we also paved their way to scholarships and deliberately set standards that were sometimes unreasonable and unattainable. The joy was to see them blossom and not be encumbered by these necessary mundanes of life.

Some have fletched their wings and took flight. Some are still drying their feathers and ready for take off this A levels. I met Nicholas Lui. How to forget this boy who promised to do well each term only to do worst. He had it bad with all his teachers and at this visit, he told me that he is no longer in the ICU list. He is in the clear. Good for him.

I didn't meet Benjamin Tang. I hope his handwriting is better or better still, much improved.

There are a few who wanted to be a doctor. One of them is Chuan yu. Wonder if he will do TCM or perhaps he found out that an overdue antibiotic didn't kill him afterall.

Ah...there is Nelson. Nelson is a scout. He is always so positive. He told me he wanted to go do finance. He will try investing after he finished his exams. I am glad he made the switch.

Gordon was late. He had class gathering. But the last to come was Ming. Ming looked so neat!! And now I could see him clearly. His mad bush was well trimmed. And he didn't carry his heavy bag. I am always worried about his back because his bag weighs more than a ton.

It was so good to see the boys. They have a duty. They must work hard and they must do well. Cannot look back. Can only look forward.

Before I left, I pulled Weidong aside. I am going to meet him again. Weidong is very special. Together with 10 others, I am his mentor. I have not visited with my 11 boys because I wanted them to settle in and now is the time to do something for them. I stand by my promise and commitment for my mentees. I wish all my mentees well and I will keep in touch.

A very interesting day at school and at dinner

This morning when I went to school and walked to the cupboards to take out some scripts for marking, a teacher stopped me in my tracks and asked who I was. I told her and she complimented me on my reply to an email sent yesterday. She told me she agreed with me that we should think about what we are teaching instead of just some set formulas and models of answering questions. Then she told me that the school need teachers like me and I should stay and that I will be good for the school.

Yes, I have been offered a more permanent job. When the principal heard that I actually went to another school for an interview, she quickly summoned me to her room and then told me what an impressive CV I had. She knew what I had but she did also tell her staff that she wanted to observe me first. But I cannot wait that long. So I was asked to apply to teach there. I did want to apply but now I don't want to.

I really think this is a great school. The students are good with some exceptions. But my heart is not really there. I find myself very drawn towards my boys. I miss my HP boys very much.

Although I kept a very low profile in this school, I was instantly noticed. I only taught once in this class and they have been asking the subject head that they want me as their SS teacher. I told the subject head that they don't know what they are asking for because the subject head herself is a great teacher. I am not that great. 

As I was about to walk out of the school this afternoon, another teacher stopped me. He told me that a parent sent an SMS asking that I tutor her son. He was the form teacher of this boy and wondered if I could help. I remembered the name. I came across his script in the standardisation exercise and he failed. I also told the teacher that the boy failed because he was not objective. I will not tutor the son unless the parents do not interfere with his learning. I promise to meet the son tomorrow. The boy's father was from an opposition party during the 2011 election and he taught the son so well that the son criticised the government in his exams. I want to tell the boy I will not vote for him if he is so emotional a leader. He cannot distinguish when to stand and when not to take up the cause.

This evening was also different. I was to go give tuition to my 3 musketeers. One actually phoned to ask if he could get another lesson. I was stunned by his enthusiasm. I cancelled because there was an urgent matter to attend to and I had to meet this friend. 

We sat and chatted about his problems and then we went on to discuss about me. He told me to go back to where I first started because he told me I would do a better job. I told him to stop thinking about not having any worth and that he too is doing a great job.

I know this. I know God is working in the shadows. When I obey God, things will fall in place. In fact there are things already happening that is paving my way. And I need to only trust God to lead. 

Ahead of me is not an easy path. But I know this is what God wants me to do. I will obey.

Is it enough what Jesus has done on the cross? Is His love for us enough for us to do just this...to obey Him? If we really love Jesus, can we give Him our all?

I learn this about all the boys I have taught, they are full of pride. Those who say they are Christians are unwilling to give God their best. They hang on to their own pleasures and only give God what they want to give. God wants ALL. 

I testify to this fact that unless I obey and turned from my own ways, God cannot and will not work.

Have your ever wondered why God cannot work a deeper work in you? Don't wonder. Just look into your heart. Where is GOD? On your lips? Only in your hands? At your feet? In your head?

Someone told me their friends were surprised they were Christians. Well, we are the light of the world. If we are not shining for God, then we are shining for someone or something else. 

I have shone brightly about myself. And thank God for removing that from me. It was blinding when I was shining. I could not see God. All I could see were all that I could do and had done. I thank God He showed me that I am powerless without Him.

Tonight my friend told me that my face glowed. A few months ago he was super worried about me. He was very happy to see me so different tonight. I thank God too for walking me out of the doom and gloom. Indeed He is my Rock and Salvation. I want my Jesus. He cause me to lift my head again to behold His wonderful face.

Dear Father in Heaven

Paul said that he is persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come should separate us from YOU(Romans 8:38). May you so keep me and keep all those Christian young people in this same love. That nothing will separate them from your Great Love for them. May you remind us constantly that You are enough and YOU will satisfy.

Father teach us to surrender our all. There will be many who will tempt us from following you. Lord send angels to protect and guard us, especially our heart. Keep our heart in tune with your heart beat. So we know you more and more each day such that making sacrifices is no longer difficult.

Holy Spirit, lead us to follow the ways of the Lord. Teach us to be still and listen to your prompting. Our hearts are covered by sin, laden with desires that may separate us from God. So hold our hearts intact. 

Lord fill our minds with your word. Remind us daily of what you have done on the cross and how much you care about our lives. You know how many hairs on our head. You know what we are thinking and what we design in our heads. You just KNOW even when we don't utter a word. So Lord guard our minds and help us focus on YOU and YOU alone.

And Father, may there be more of you in my life and less of me in my life. Not what I want to do, but what You want to do through me.  Thank you for using this unworthy vessel.

Amen

For Bonita: These two videos are from a praise group stationed in Texas, USA. They are ABCs. Their music is good. The first video talks about God being our Rock and Salvation, God my glory, my cornerstone. He lifts up my head. Life may have its sorrows but when the morning comes, there will be rejoicing. The second video is about the Almighty God who reigns. He is love, He owns everything! All glory be to the Almighty God.

No straight As.

There is a lot of talk these days in our little country about a scholar without straight As. I find it interesting that they are focusing on his results instead of the person who fought against all odds to get where he deserves to be.

I met the 4 scholars a few nights ago and believe me, the one without the straight As stood out. Probably because he was in uniform. But most of all because we know how hard he has worked. We also know he will return. He actually told me the national service was good for him and he learned alot about serving the country. That was even before he won the award. 

Of course he is human. Like you and I, he too makes mistakes, he too can fall. Again like you and I, he will rise again. 


Have you ever wondered if your teachers are straight A students? Let me tell you this, there are not many straight A students in teaching. Imagine if we are all straight A students teaching you! You will all be deader than dead. I am not hinting, I am blatantly telling you that you will have to work harder than you are doing now...

Thank God most of us teachers are just plain and simple students who wanted to teach. Sometimes we understand why you don't want to study. Sometimes we get fed up with your indolence and insolence. Sometimes we give up. Most of the time, we hang on in there because one or two teachers hang in there for us. We want to return this favour. We are the ones who can tell you that shortcuts get you nowhere and hardwork richly rewards those who embrace it.

Not all teachers become your friends over time. You are lucky if you have a teacher you can call your friend. Not all students want to remember their teachers after they are done schooling. I am lucky to have some. I hope you too have some. Cannot have too many okay. No time la!


I just want a normal simple life with a few expectations. Haha. I expect to have a holiday and I definitely expect to be paid. Other than that, I want my rest. 

The week ahead will be busy again. I work till 10pm every night unless I don't wish to earn this much. I try to set aside weekends and with the exams coming, this was just not possible. But I had fun working with my students one on one. You have a great week and may God be with you too.



For Bonita:
At the feet of Jesus, let us bow and bend our knees to behold His face. At the feet of Jesus, let us be silent and listen, waiting for His will. At the feet of Jesus, we release our worries, trusting you absolutely, entrusting you with our all. At the feet of Jesus we totally surrender our all to worship YOU without restrains.

A letter to Aaron

Hi Aaron
Thank you so much for the invitation. Didn't expect anything this big from you. I didn't expect the dinner to be held at this posh place. I had to do my facial and then my hair. I was so nervous just thinking about going there that I forgot my ic. I had to walk all the way back from the train station. I was afraid to be late because you wanted us to be there by 645. And I took a cab and I got there on time. Before that,  my little evening purse lost a screw and the handle also didn't work. I was the candidate for the composition entitled: THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING CAN GO WRONG, WENT WRONG! But I made it there, ON TIME! :)
When I reached, you started to dig into the pocket to give me a card. Your card was most special. When you were about to give me, I was going to cry. So I didn't open it until I got home. I didn't cry. You made me feel so special. Thank you so much. 

Yes, I remember asking if you were MAD to ask me to mentor you after having scolded you so badly in HMUN. Yup, I remember how you all braved the cold to go out and eat a lobster meal without my permission and had to lie to do that. But I also laughed so hard about how stupid you all were to pay so much for a meal when I paid half of what you got and I had more food. You all had SALAD. I had the whole lobster, clams and soups and bread....hahaha

I always thought it was very brave of you to want to work with a very difficult person. I not only made very difficult demands, like no CIP hours, I also made you all come down with me to study the area. I loved it when all of you were just dumbfounded by what you couldn't do. Because I want to be sure you know that serving the poor begins with the heart and nowhere else. And our battle to clear my name and give me the title of a mentor was really tiresome. Also the fight to win the projects day final and the kind of verbal abuse we had to take sitting down. Thank you for swallowing all that. We gritted our teeth and moved on. 

We also battled some traditional chinese medicine along the way. Remember how Desmond was never angry but was so angry. Remember asking me to appeal. I appealed because I really know it was wrong not to get you into the finals. And it was the first time that a mentor could appeal against the results for a grand final standing. At the grand finals, as I listened to how the judges were questioning you and helping all of you, I knew we nailed it. That win was so good. It was a good fight. I will never ever forget that. I am not ashamed at all to win. Because we won deserving every bit of the work.We also set a higher standard for projects day.

I will always be grateful you took me on a great learning journey. You taught me how to plan and plan. You taught me there are things that can be done.You always say "NO Miss Cheong, cannot like this. We have to do like this or else we cannot do well.." "No Miss Cheong we have to do this or else we cannot do this. " Miss Cheong we have to show this and show that.." Then I would go " Orrh", "Is it?" "Why leh?" "Huh?" But thank you for also listening to our advice too.

At first, I set standards for you to achieve. They got higher and higher as days go by. Later you started to set them yourselves. That was so good to watch. 

Remember how you would always be frustrated with our Artist! Hahaha. I had to ask you to be patient. I hope you continue to learn to give people time to work. I gave you time too. I never rush. Not that I don't care. I do have a deadline. A precious lesson I learn from Bonita is that people need time. She was very patient with me when I was not so good. Very patient.

What amazed me was how detail you can get with words. That means you very long winded la. I remember having to slash everything and to squeeze everything within 6 pages. That was tough training. But good for me. Now I can write better. 

You also taught me how to be meticulous because I hate this kind of work. I see the big picture, you see to the final details. But you made me sit down and think with you. Very chum sometimes but you were good at persuading all of us to work on.

You are always funny. Your humour is great. Whoever thinks you are not funny is so very wrong. Your poker face jokes are really good. When I told your parents you were funny, they were so surprised. We told them, yes Slim and I, you are very funny, your parents said they never saw this side of you. ahhaha. We are very lucky to have seen it.



Your love for your family also touches me. I believe that whoever loves the family more than themselves will be great people. You are one of them. I met your brother tonight. He is so cute. I am going to take him out for lunch one fine day.  Just me and him. I like your little brother. I think you are who you are today because of your love for your little brother. Aren't you glad he is in this world for you! You are so lucky.

You pick three teachers to join you tonight. Thank you for letting me meet Samuel again. We had a nice chat. We chatted about the times we worked together with all of you. He told me the best thing for him tonight was to be able to meet me. Slim actually spoke to one of the judges at your interview. The judge said that what distinguished you from the rest is the project. Thank you for talking about Project Pipit. The team is grateful you remember us. And tonight on the brochure was printed the project Pipit. What a great time we had learning and working together! I hope there will be more of such great team work again.

You broke the dry spell from the high school. Thank you for doing that. Yes, why you? But then again, it has to be you. Because you have a heart for the poor. I like that about you.

We met a scholar tonight that was rather distasteful. Well she spoke about how VJC attracted only sanguine and phlegmatic people while our school attracted choleric and melancholic people. She is directly implying she is from a cool school and we are the more chiong school. All your three teachers are not too pleased and although we smiled, we were not impressed with her unfounded observations. I was tempted to ask about the basis of her research. It saddens me to know she could not stop talking and most of all she spewed wrong information without any basis. ahahhaha. Please don't be like her!

Later in the shuttle bus, I asked your literature teacher what he thought of the generalisation made by the scholar...he told us that he didn't like it at all and wanted to tell her to shut up too...and we ended the night with this great laughter. 

It was a great evening. I hope you are not too drunk tonight to read this. Did you enjoy your dinner? You sat with a very tall man...and your face was flushed. Could he drink as tall as he was? Hahaha.

Thank you for having me as your friend and thank you for standing by me too. When I am down you never fail to give me encouragement. You always tell me I can do it. But sometimes I just cannot. Then you still say, never mind, you can do it.

Well keep in touch. Stay level. Have fun with your first sail. Be safe. I hope to see you in Pennsylvania.

My National Day!

Today is National Day. Not many of us hang out our national flag this week or today. It may not mean PAP has few supporters. It may mean that there are no free flags for us to hang up. 

I got up early to pick up two friends and we drove into JB. We had a geat time. Both Peck San and Bee Yen went to my house in JB and helped me clean after our breakfast. The breakfast was so good and cheap. 

We went to the mall to pick up a nice evening bag for a special dinner I had to attend on Friday. I am invited to a special award ceremony for an ex student. I am thankful he remembered me and invited. He doesn't have to do it.

Another student who remembered me is Chuan Wei. He messaged to say he is BACK! Wow. He told me he will be buying me lunch and I am not to pay for the meal. The last time, he paid too. He is back for a long while. I always enjoy talking to him. And he is a big shot now. I am just amazed how he always seek me out. 


You know what it is to be sought out. Not sought after. But sought out. I feel kind of special that people take the trouble to look out for me and single me out for something good. Really good feeling.

Today Peck San shared about how cheap it was to study in Canada. She is leaving for her Masters Course in early childhood in Vancouver. I am going to miss her company. 


I also found a cure to my very painful knees. I seem to be losing muscles in my legs. Some friends kept asking if I had lost weight. I think I had lost muscles in my legs. I asked the pharmacist for some drugs to numb the pain. She recommended me glucosamine and chondroitin. I took 3 on empty stomach and my pain is greatly relieved. Amazing!


It has been a "quiet National Day". I took time out to think and to catch up on some friends I have not met for a long time. It is good to take a break from work. We should do that more oftern ;)

The last class on the Book of Esther

The book of Esther has 10 chapters and it ended with a very different Esther. Esther emerged braver and stronger throughout the period of persecution. Because of her all Jews today observe Purim. This rescue from the jaws of Satan was so important that God had it that they celebrate every year to remember this deliverance from their enemies. The Jews had to fight and killed some 500 enemies even though they were spared. Regardless of whether Esther was the Queen or Mordecai was the right hand man of King Xerxes, there were still people who hated the Jews then and even today. God has specifically promised the Israelites that those who bless them, God will bless them. Those who hate them, God will destroy. As a result, there are many who dislike the Jews even in our days. But those that pray for the Jews, God will greatly bless.

I have never thought about praying for the Jews. I always thought that God will take care of them. God still does. These days, He is in the shadows working for that final day. God is with the Gentiles showing and demonstrating His love for all those who believe in Him that there is eternal joy if we only believe. He is also showing the Jews that rejected Him that this is what they are missing. But God will keep His promise to Abraham and to Jacob and He will come back to them and receive them and they will be His special chosen nation. 

So as of today, I will pray that God will protect Israel. May the angels of God encamp round them as the turmoils of war surround them. May the JEHOVAH JIREH provide them with wisdom as they work on their situations each day. There are many born again Christian Jews in Israel. May JEHOVAH SHAMA be with them to give them His presence. Amen.

The book of Esther is written by an unknown author but Purim is celebrated with the reading of the scroll of Esther each year. The most important person in the book is Mordecai. He was the one who truly believes in the Jehovah God and stuck to God's promises to the very end. This man was greatly honoured during the Persian rule and was a man of vision and peace. He also had great values rooted in his culture and in his Jehovah God. He trusted God to deliver because he remembered God's promise to Abraham. He told Esther that if she didn't want to save the Jews then, God would choose someone else too. 

God has given each of us a chance to do His work. He can choose us and we can refuse. And He will still choose another to accomplish His task. It is not about GOD must get us to do it. It is that we are privileged to be His servants. 

Sometimes we choose wrongly. Can we undo it? God can. God is willing to give obedience a second chance. How then do we know we are doing GOD's will?

This is a question that I have been asked many times. I find the answer difficult. It is difficult to act on it if we truly believe this to be an answer.

Last night, I had a discussion with a friend. This friend asked me something that is rather close to my heart. How do I know this is what God wants or what God says? 

I want to ask GOD a big question. I want to know if it is His will to ask me to leave the securities of my job. A few months ago, I would tell you that I didn't think it was a right decision. My life was in misery. I was very lost and I couldn't find myself out of that deep forest. I will tell you that I have made a bad decision to throw away a secure job of status and power. I will tell you that I never expected it to be so difficult to live through what GOD had me put through. And Satan accused me of many things and I allowed him to take control. Allowing him to say things that are not true about my God and allowing myself to believe in the lies. 

And thank God. I was able to walk away from it when I stayed away from some of the noises of the world. I shut down completely for three months looking for myself. I didn't want to meet anybody else except to hear what God has to say. He never left me right from the very day He told me to go. 

I am thankful for the prayers. Esther has to live through the dark passages and to witness God's mercy and love. I don't want to turn back but I will take a short look at my back.

The decision to leave has been great. I am stripped of all the things that so bind me. I discover God again because when all else fails, when nobody makes sense, He makes sense. When nobody loves, God loves. When nobody gives, He gives. Is He enough? 

I asked my friend is God enough? Is what Jesus had done enough? Enough for us to give up our ALL? I am discounting even as I blog. Is GOD enough for me to give up my all? What would GOD give me if I give up? 

The answer is God may not give even if He wants you to give up ALL. He may just want you to know He is sufficient. Claiming on the promises and believing He is going to supply is not easy. I am sure you have been there.

But each day as I ponder about what He will provide and then He shows me HOW He has provided, I am just thankful. 

There are a few thoughts in my mind. I hope the year will end with me taking a trip towards the western hemisphere. There are people I miss very much. I want to take a long break from Singapore and go find the other self that is missing. I like what I am today.

People who have met me recently told me that I looked better. More assured. I do sleep better. Try to live better and learn to follow the Holy Spirit of God. Sometimes I don't obey. Sometimes it is hard to obey. But I know that God is watching over me.

The devil can confront me again and again about what I should have, could have and must do. But I will answer him this time. I know I should have, could have and must but I just can't continue to live with the flesh and not let the Spirit of God take over. I can from time to time falter but God knows I will try to stand up again. 

The road ahead is not easy. It will get harder. Each time when I fall down again, God will send good friends to remind me of His goodness. 

I believe wholeheartedly that when we do the will of God and believe in His promises about obedience, our lives cannot be bad. When I choose to obey and serve Him, His presence is with me.  I hear God. I see God everywhere now. And thank GOD for taking me out of the life of great complacency.

I teach with this school that is in the east. I really thought I lost that power to mingle with students. But when I walk with GOD each day to school, I saw how God use me to touch my students. Many not taught by me are starting to bow to me and greet me at the staircase and along corridors. The Lord is showing me a lot about what I can do IF I obey Him. The staff actually smiles when I walk along the corridor too. I like this. But is this where I should stay? I allow God to decide. He knows best.

I taught one of the best schools in Singapore. I am now teaching in a school that has the potentials to be the top. It is worth the challenge. I pray the Lord show me the way. I want to do what HE wants and not what my logical mind wants. May the Holy Spirit guide me and advise me!

The new school

I am now working for another school. The school is peaceful unlike the many I went. Some schools are quiet but not peaceful. I walk into a staffroom of teachers who are happy. Yes, genuinely happy with what they do and proud of it. The best part, NO YELLING! Everyone is respecting everyone in their work. No schemes. Only students and busy about how to help them.

I was tasked to work with the weakest in the school for SS. These students will be taking their O levels end of the year. As in all cases, they sized me up. Their faces light up when they sat in my class because there were few of them. I had more personal time and we had more talks, small talks to get them going about what is at the other end of the road. I challegned them to think about their future. People who plan are always better off than those who don't.

I met two boys from this class that was really nonchalant about life. One perpetually hangs his head down and most often times put his head on the table. He actually slept. I let him one day but I decided enough is enough. I had a talk with him and found out that he believes the teachers have given up on him. I made a deal with him. If he just only do two questions for SS, I will teach him geography. He kept the bargain and went beyond. He did 4 questions. The issue is not whether his answers are great. The issue is that he tried. So I kept my bargain and stayed back one afternoon to teach. I promised to set aside an afternoon slot just for him.

Another boy has been slacking until recently when I jolted him from his slackness. Inside him, he was already panicking about his O levels. The best defence is sometimes offense and he rejected every form of help until I shared about what would be ahead for him if he should continue to slack. What of his family he will be raising? Aha...I got his attention. I told the classes I taught that if they don't do well and work hard, they will not be able to convince their children when they are parents that their children have to work hard too. Some parents gave up on their children because someone down the road gave up on them. So they too will learn to give up in the future. The cycle perpetuates.

The latter boy did my work, came to see me and tried to see me. Sometimes I forget my appointments because these days I am so tired and my legs are giving me problem. They are in pain...weight? I don't know.

Yesterday I met the latter boy when I was on my way home. I gave him a ride to the station as it was about to rain. He told me when he was in my car that he did one of my work that I set online. He did it! For the first time, he read the textbook and thought about the work. Wow! This was such a blessing for me.

I am so glad that here, I can teach and see lives change everyday. It is a peaceful school. The students are pleasant and I also teach girls. The girls are sweet. Just very different from where I used to come from.

I might actually stay for good. May the Lord's will be done.

All these I typed in less than 10 minutes. That was fast!