15th September
I am going to report what happened at church. Mum's running nose on Saturday stopped after much prayers from my friends. She always get it just before sunday comes. I know then that there was one thing I didn't pray against, the devil's ploy to hold us back from going to church. So I asked my friends to pray very specifically for us all to be covered by the blood of Christ and that we will go to church on Sunday. Indeed we were all at church. Dad drove mum, Rebecca, Theodora and I to church. He parked his taxi in the HDB estate and we walked to church. Mum sat through the whole service ocasionally sitting down to rest when the songs kept them standing. (That is something I can never understand. Why must we keep singing the songs over and over again? Why must singing go on without stopping for an hour? What about those who cannot sing too long or stand too long?).

The speaker for the day is from Taiwan. After the speaker spoke for a while, I left to go get the medication from a lady who came from JB. Then I went back to the service. After the speaker finished, he asked if there are those who wanted to be healed. I signalled mum to go and she went. We waited quite long for the speaker to pray with her. She was the last to go and he did many interesting things to her. I have a different interpretation of what was happening though. Well, he told her he wanted to see how strong is her faith. He asked her to sit down and then brought her ankles together. He told her one was shorter than the other. She adjusted her bum and he told her no need to do so. She was already rather upset he by passed her many times. So this did little to cheer her up. Then he asked her to shout that Jesus heals. She being a shy woman didn't say out loud and he persuaded her to say louder and louder. Her ankles got to become of the same length as she shouts that Jesus heals. Next he asked her to stand and to bring her arms together. He pointed out her thumbs are of different lengths. The second time he asked her to bring the arms together he held the thumbs and spoke to it and they were readjusted. The thumbs are of the same length again. According to my mother, he pushed them.

Then he asked her to close her eyes as he spoke to the liver and he prayed against all the cancer cells there. I was not too near where the proceedings occur but was listening and observing what was happening. After a few minutes, the Taiwanese pastor told my mother she is healed. She was not slained by the spirit.

When we got home that afternoon, I know for sure of only one thing. Mum's faith in Jesus healed her. What is so interesting was that her two pastors who came to her did not pray with her. To mum, anyone can pray for her becuase they have as much healing power as the speaker who came that morning. She asked a very good question "Why do my pastors have so little faith in healing me? Why must I approach this man?" I am reminded of the story of the woman who touched Jesus. What healed her? Her faith. Indeed it is true. We don't have to be a Christian for a long time, but knowing the power of Jesus in your life can heal you fully.

One of the queries in my mind was about toying with the psyche of the believers in that church. The speaker was told the poeple who willingly come up to pray for gifts that he will clap two times and then he told them God will bless them with a gift and they will collapse. Many did collapse on the floor with people supporting them, of course. From a psychological point of view, only a willing person will surrender their state of mind. Only then they will do as instructed. I am not doubting the spirit of God can do it. I am wondering should it be done this way? I believe Jesus will fill any willing vessels, anyone who is broken and are willing, Jesus will fill their lives. But to be told at two claps, well, I cannot agree with that.

I hope the Lord's return is soon. Then all these will clear up. What is mportant for us Christians to do is to test every spirit. Not everyone that calls Him Lord, will enter the Kingdoom of God. So test every spirit. Do not be too willing to allow another spirit to rule your life.

I know many of us Christians want to spend and be spent for the Lord. Many of us are thirsting for the Lord's power in our lives. Will HIs power wane in our lives? What renders us powerless? I think this is a more important question to answer.

I know that my Redeemer liveth and on this earth again shall stand. So what are you standing for?

Friday, 15/9
The week flew by so quickly and now it is Friday night. Mum stayed home throughout the week. She was able to clean up the cluttered kitchen counter top. Her cell group visited her. She told them she will fight the sickness because she knows God will heal her. The cell group members who came were blessed by her strong faith in God. She often spoke about how many people will pray for her.

She ate well, drank the water I specially prepare for her. Now I drop 20 drops of oxygen in 1 litre of energy water and a flask of warm water before I leave for work. I will also arrange the pills for her to take. A visit to the Chinese doctor helped her a lot. She doesn't feel so gassy in her stomach and she was able to rest a little. I notice that most of the liver cancer patients were often asked if they slept well. I guess sleeping well will enhance the health of the liver. I cannot give her any Pharmanex products I bought.

A student at NIE shared about another product with me today. I got dad and mum to watch it with me. We are very convinced by what we saw. One thing was for sure, don't take bird's nest and don't take ginseng except for American ginseng. It is also not good to take too much meat and too much polished foods. Mum and dad are finally convinced tonight. Starting tomorrow we are all going to take brown rice and more veggies.

Do you know that cancer patients must have appetite. To fuel the stomach, take ginger tea. Crush the ginger and bring it to a boil with water. Sip the tea throughout the day to fuel the stomach to create appetite. They must eat and eat well. If possible, cancer patients should eat more raw veggies with ginger. Is there any proof? Why are we are making this shift?

Well, the disk was in cantonese and shared by a professor who did 18 or more years of research on cancer. Of course he advertised on the product but I have done some research on molecular reform therapy and it is something we must try. The results from the research actually show that cancer cells are totally killed. This is interesting. Another nugget of advice is to take yoghurt. You live longer when your colon is cleaner.

Professor Alfonso Wong, a canadian oncology professor mentioned that it was important that cancer patients empty their bowels everyday. He mentioned that there are about 40 to 50 therapies out there using diverse methods that can help prolong life but none can actually kill cancer cells. He is also a scientist and he studies all kinds of cancer, more than 200 kinds. He tried lingzhi on the cancer cells, but there was no effect at all. He worked closely with cancer patients too. For the first time, we heard from a doctor who is an active researcher and scientist. He also shared about chemotherapy and radiation therapy. And I was right about one thing, chemotherapy is not the best way to treat cancer be it through intravenous or through pill. Mum, dad and I are convinced chemotherapy is not the way to go. After watching the VCD, mum immediately asked for brown rice, dad started cooking the ginger water. We have a clearer direction to take.

Tomorrow I hope to go into Johore Bahru to buy this molecular medicine to try with mum. Because I need to know if it works for her and me too. It is not cheap but I must try it for mum.

Since the journey began, I learned so much about cancer. So many people have come forward with hope and I praised God for the guidance. Each time they come, I try and each time, better stuff comes along and more education. There is one thing that never changes throughout these past months, the mercy of God endureth.

I am very stressed up. Very hard pressed to make decisions. I am also having a terrible headache and my head is a little light. May be it is the flu. May be it is just the past months, the anxiety. But this week is better than the past months. I can at least laugh a little, eat a little better and definitely surprised how the week flew by.

Mum continues to find it hard to sleep well. Dad is having a small lump under his right ear. He said it is heatiness. I hope so. I am always alone in the house with the two of them. I realized there are three very old and sick people in my house now. Dad has diabetes, blocked capillaries and high blood pressure. I have all two minus the capillaries and mum with liver cancer. If not for all your prayers, I think I will collapse.

Whatever hope tomorrow brings, I will get up and grab it for mum's sake. However tired I am, the day must go on. The Fight is ON! And I know there are many people who will be cheering all of us in the Cheong family. Continue to remember us.

9th September, Saturday Morning
Mum has caught a flu bug. She has been having fever. With antibiotics, the fever come down and then up again. Don't know what else to do but pray. I refrained from SMSing my friends because I don't want them to feel my anxiety. Instead I turned to my family for support and prayers. I trust that the Lord will take care of mum because she is His child too. I cannot take over God's job because He knows best. Her spirit is positive and high as usual. Just as the fever comes down, she will sing her karaoke songs to revise. We want to bring her to church tomorrow and so we have to pray very hard tonight that the fever will not ever come up again.

We are taking mum to a chinese physician this afternoon. Wondering if all the supplements I put her on has weakened her immune system. I need to check with a doctor. Doctors at the National Cancer Centre told me to put her on antioxidants, vitamins etc to protect her immune system. Then there is advice not to stress the liver. I really need wisdom so I decided to head towards the chinese doctor to see if I am feeding her right.

Uncle Lawrence is so kind. He has spoken to the friend in China to work on my mother's case. He just came home to settle some business and now he is on his way back to Thailand. But he cares so much to take time off to look into mum's case.

I cannot complain because the support and help I get is just overwhelming. I am stupefied by the greatness of God and His leading. To all those of you who support me one way or another, even if I have no time to meet you yet, I carry a grateful heart before God everyday counting you as my blessing everyday.

Yesterday I went back to Hwa Chong Institution. I needed to pay many debts. Never felt so broke for a long time and the feeling is good. I learn to respect money. I could not call out, I could not have cable TV and I laughed because really these things became so unimportant when other things before me are more urgent. As I walked in to the school, some students recognised me and started to tuck in their uniforms sheepishly. I wanted to laugh but I have to keep a straight face.

Today, I want to let you know this: God is a supplier of all our needs. In His time He makes all things beautiful. And beauty is interpreted differently by different people. What is not beautiful to you, is beautiful to me. And right now, the situation is ugly but God makes everything around it beautiful. I bow before Him and acknowledge He indeed is God.

Have a great day!

6th September 2006

We finally heard from Beijing. We want to praise God tonight again and again. According to Dr Xia, mum's condition has improved since we last treated her with gamma rays. The results are good compared to the last time he saw her. He has advised that if there be chemotherapy and mum's body can take it, we can go ahead in Singapore. We are going to talk to him tomorrow to see if we can do gamma radiation instead. This is because we are giving mum a lot of healthcare products to kill the cancer cells and we want to keep the good cells functioning. I want to let all of you know that God hears us all. My family want to thank all of you for praying and please don't stop praying and speaking against all the cancer cells in her liver.

Each day is a brand new day. It is a day of trusting in His power. My dad prays with her every night and he will lay hands on the position of where the liver is and pray against the cancer cells. Now we pray everytime when we give her the medication. Mum also prays out loud and she wants to be able to go church this sunday to bear testimony of God's faithfulness and power in her life. Pray we will all go to show the family of God the peace He has given my family and the miracles He has wrought in our lives.

Many people want to meet my mother. You should all meet my dad too. I am still amazed at how God use and take care of His own.

The other day, an ex trainee of mine came to visit me and he brought along a bottle of american ginseng. I am more than touched. I am deeply moved by the love people have for my mother and my family. Students at NIE will always ask how mum is doing, how I am doing. Friends will call to get me out of the house so I will not be too bogged down. I know the Lord will supply all my needs. When I forgot to take care of myself, He remembers and get others to move me along this journey.

Please continue to pray for my family. For us to capture these moments and to continue to lean on His wisdom.

Tonight if you have any prayer requests, tell Jesus! Only Jesus Saves!

5th September, Tuesday morning
It is raining this morning and the air is cool and nice. I woke up ready for dad to pick us up for breakfast, a treat I truly enjoy at the start of the day.

It was rather exciting to have all 6 children in the house on Sunday. Theodora was jumping with joy when she saw Stacia, the littlest of the little because she could play nanny now. Timothy has been waiting for Ryan to come so they could watch tv. Tiffany waited for Steffi so they could play the new games they learned at school. I cooked some stew pork and Rebecca made curry veggies with fishballs. We kept our meal very simple so we could have more time to spend with mum and dad. As much as I love to cook, I rather keep my kitchen cool and nice.

Monday was a good day for mum. She didn't go to Rebecca's because she decided to give Rebecca a break so she could spend some time with Thomas and their little ones. Because of this, mum had to stay home and we had a wonderful and lovely volunteer...Steffi. She slept with me on Sunday night and I left her with mum the rest of Monday. I taught her what to give mum so she knows. I also reminded her to give mum lots of water and let her rest and to make sure mum does not fall. Well, Steffi, primary 4, did just that. Mum was able to potter around the house to do some household chores.

I cooked dinner and fried some fish last night. It was a success. I rushed out to join a friend who wanted to visit with me at the airport. We didn't take off. We took off to the staff canteen and had a simple meal. We went to coffee bean for coffee and I bumped into an ex student. She heard my voice!

She is a very special girl and we met each other way back in 1997 when I first joined RGS. She has always been very talented and bold to follow her heart. What a great surprise to be able to be in touch with her again! I told her to add me to the MSN chat and we chatted online last night.

It is amazing how God bring people together and in such a time like this. I am very blessed by her sharing with me about the Lord and I am going to start praying for God's blessing on the supplements mum is taking before giving it to her.

As a teacher, we cannot openly preach the gospel. But as a Christian we must live like one before the eyes of our students and leave God to do the job. I don't want any innocent blood on my hands when I stand before Jesus. Thus I always pray for all my students by name before the Lord with the class namelist and tell God to bless each of them with the gift of salvation, to bring people into their lives so they will know what a Great God He is. In my own life, I hope they see the mercy of God that I am not dead despite of my wickedness and that they know that there is a God who can love a sinner like me. That one day they will know Jesus.

Today is another day. A day that pours blessings upon each of us as we wake up to live for Him.

God bless your day.

1st September, Friday
Last night, I was so touched by one of the gestures of my students. He went online and surfed the net to find out more about cancer and what kind of stuff to take to help my mum. He gave me the website and we had an online chat. This is a very special student who I had not chatted with for more than 9 months. Knowing he cared, I am deeply moved by people caring for my mum and my family. Thank you.

I have a morning class to teach today. I got up very early to get ready. The night before I put ginseng black chicken soup to boil on the crock pot at around 1145pm. The soup smelled so good this morning. Mum was up a little later. I gave her some enzymes to take and then gave her ginseng. I scooped a small bowl of soup for her to drink while she was still on empty stomach. Then she told me that she would prefer to stay at home this morning. I was stumped. She wanted to give Rebecca a break because she worked too hard throughout the week. I persuaded her to go because I really did not want her to be alone in the house while we were out looking fpr the bread and butter. But she told me she would not cheat and would take the health supplements. She even arranged in chronological order so that she remembers. Upon her insistence, I left for work. I wanted to give her the autonomy she so enjoyed before she became ill. At breakfast, I called Rebecca to visit her in the afternoon.

When I arrived home this evening, dad was cooking the dinner. Mum lied on the coach as usual to watch the TV. The children were all dressed ready to go watch the Monster Show. Rebecca reported what mum did. Mum actually did housework, cleaned the cabinet and had time to practise her songs she used to sing at karaoke. We want to praise the Lord for this good day. She has gained from strength to strength. She has the faith that God will work a mighty work through her. She is the reason why I carry on to fight. Many people tell me to be strong but they never tell me how to be strong. Many tell me to be strong for my mum. I think my mum remains strong because of me. Many say I have done alot but it is with my siblings that all these good things are happening. It is with Jesus that we are even hopeful each day.

I have to sing this great hymn: Great is Thy faithfulness Oh Lord my Father. There is no shadow of turning with thee. Thou changest not, thy compassion they fail not. As thou has been, thou forever wilt be. Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

The faithfulness of God remains because He is God. "You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed." What has God promised us? When my heart grows cold, I look for the sun. The day when I prayed and asked for a sign.

I don't know for sure what will happen tomorrow. I know this, God's faithfulness abides because mum believes Jesus loves her and will see her through. Mum has the courage to face anything because God is with her. Dad can face many things now because God is with him. This evening he talked about having a laugh that comes from the heart. He said he had laughed from his heart twice. Why he told me that, I really don't know.

Continue to pray for my family. God is faithful because you are faithful in praying for us all.