Dear Friends
Teachers' day is round the corner. I chance upon this inspirational and thought provoking writing. Hope you like it. I think it comes rather close to who we are and why we are doing what we are doing and how difficult we are doing it and how much fun we have in the process of all the pain, tears and frustrations. Will write on my thoughts later and share about my teaching experiences. Hope you enjoy this little sharing too.

Happy Teachers' Day!

THE CREATION OF THE TEACHER
Author Unknown
The Good Lord was creating teachers. It was His sixth day of 'overtime' and He knew that this was a tremendous responsibility for teachers would touch the lives of so many impressionable young children. An angel appeared to Him and said, "You are taking a long time to figure this one out."

"Yes," said the Lord, " but have you read the specs on this order?"

TEACHER:
…must stand above all students, yet be on their level
... must be able to do 180 things not connected with the subject being taught
... must run on coffee and leftovers,
... must communicate vital knowledge to all students daily and be right most of the time
... must have more time for others than for herself/himself
... must have a smile that can endure through pay cuts, problematic children, and worried parents
... must go on teaching when parents question every move and others are not supportive
... must have 6 pair of hands.


"Six pair of hands, " said the angel, "that's impossible"

"Well, " said the Lord, " it is not the hands that are the problem. It is the three pairs of eyes that are presenting the most difficulty!"

The angel looked incredulous, " Three pairs of eyes...on a standard model?"

The Lord nodded His head, " One pair can see a student for what he is and not what others have labeled him as. Another pair of eyes is in the back of the teacher's head to see what should not be seen, but what must be known. The eyes in the front are only to look at the child as he/she 'acts out' in order to reflect, " I understand and I still believe in you", without so much as saying a word to the child."

"Lord, " said the angel, " this is a very large project and I think you should work on it tomorrow".

"I can't," said the Lord, " for I have come very close to creating something much like Myself. I have one that comes to work when he/she is sick.....teaches a class of children that do not want to learn....has a special place in his/her heart for children who are not his/her own.....understands the struggles of those who have difficulty....never takes the students for granted..."

The angel looked closely at the model the Lord was creating. "It is too soft-hearted, " said the angel.

"Yes," said the Lord, " but also tough, You can not imagine what this teacher can endure or do, if necessary".

"Can this teacher think?" asked the angel.

"Not only think," said the Lord,. "but reason and compromise."

The angel came closer to have a better look at the model and ran his finger over the teacher's cheek."Well, Lord, " said the angel, your job looks fine but there is a leak. I told you that you were putting too much into this model. You can not imagine the stress that will be placed upon the teacher."

The Lord moved in closer and lifted the drop of moisture from the teacher's cheek. It shone and glistened in the light."It is not a leak," He said, "It is a tear."

"A tear? What is that?" asked the angel, "What is a tear for?"

The Lord replied with great thought, " It is for the joy and pride of seeing a child accomplish even the smallest task. It is for the loneliness of children who have a hard time to fit in and it is for compassion for the feelings of their parents. It comes from the pain of not being able to reach some children and the disappointment those children feel in themselves. It comes often when a teacher has been with a class for a year and must say good-bye to those students and get ready to welcome a new class."

"My, " said the angel, " The tear thing is a great idea...You are a genius!!"

The Lord looked somber, "I didn't put it there."

In times like these...

Dad came home on Saturday morning. I was ready for him. Cleaned up my room and made the bed so he could rest in my room. Cooked lunch and waited for Rebecca to bring him home. He was tired and still sore.

Sunday I was at church. The message was one on love. But it was the song that hit me really hard. The worship leader sang "Jesus Loves Me This I know." And it was a song mum and I used to sing with Theodora. I could not control my tears and just couldn't sing on because it was just very sad. Pastor Ben Brown announced on Sunday that IBC is given special rights to distribute bibles at the Olympics in Beijing. I have asked to go teach in Beijing in the satellite school and it is confirmed that I will leave somewhere after the Chinese New Year. Pray that my stint there will be long. I hope to catch the Olympics.

Since the national day message, I have been seriously thinking about migrating to China or Calgary. I don't wish to live to 82. I do wish to have my CPF and use it to further my mission in life...travel with the gospel. So I might just denounce my citizenship to do that and to do it soon.

On the subject of LOVE. I have been blessed recently by two of my ex boys. One of them is Terrence. I have not seen him for four years or so. Bumped into him on Sunday afternoon a few months ago and he told me he was going to back pack all the way to Cambodia. Just last week or so ago, he came to school to visit. He should be in Illinois now working on his scholarship to read Economics there. I always remember Terrence's smile and ways in which he dealt with stress from school and from class. I was shocked when some of my students who studied with him in college told me he became different. He told me that he was extremely focused and got what he wanted to further himself and just wanted to prove he could do it. But what really touched me most was the fact that he took the time in national service to find God. He found his first love for Jesus again. This is just so amazing. He has since renewed his committment to follow Jesus. He is very happy and looked fresh and ready to charge ahead. Pray for him that as he studies, he will get to know more about God too and may the study of how to amass wealth not cause him to lose sight of Jesus and His great commission.

Then later in the week, another student came to visit. He missed me by a couple of minutes. He left a note for me to contact and we decided to have lunch this afternoon. He looked so good. This was the student who came to visit me every Teacher's day and will bring a flower. I was never around on teachers' day. Finally in 2004, he got a hold of me. I was there to receive an award which I felt was totally uncalled for. When he found me, he told me how frustrated he was with my absence. I was actually very shocked he remembered me each year. So today, we ate lunch together and I listened to the challenges he was facing. I felt very priviledged to sit down with him because an old hag like me should live in a cave and not be seen around young men. He was not embarrassed to visit with me, all old and tired. He looked forward to the occasion so much that he got me very excited to hear him. He was telling me about his involvement in East Timor. He went there to work with the peacekeeping troops and he is only 21 this year. He also told me about his struggles in life and how he overcame some of them. He will be going to UK to do law and he has decided what kind of law he wants to do. A young man like him told me that money is not everything and he already earned his first 20000 and many more to come in the future. He has such a good head and looks after his sisters so well. I hope you all can pray for him. His name is Chuan Wei. I am very proud of him and will pray that God will bless him with the gift of salvation.

Chuan Wei also shared with me about Di Song, another one of my ex boys. He became a Christian a couple of years ago and brought his entire family to know God. Praise the Lord for these good news.

I also met Haddy today. He is studying medicine in Germany. He was shocked I remembered how he was as a student. Haddy is still the same old Haddy, speaking straight from the heart.

I am very happy that my ex students are paying forward and these boys are involved in community service, taking time off to see the world and meet people. I wish all of my boys will see the importance of serving others instead of chasing after some bubbles. I can't wait to get out and do the same.

This was a week when I basically asked God to show me why am I still here. Then God brought people I have forgotten because we have not met. He used them to tell me that was why I am still stuck in where I am.

This is also a week that God showed me what SIN is. It is a godless attitude that leads to godless actions. When we have God in our hearts, we will not falter. But when we adopt attitudes that persuade us that God can step aside for awhile and let our ego sets in, then we have SINNED. I watched how some of my ex boys live. I am kind of scared for them. Their godless attitude will bring them grave sorrows one day. So I need to go on my knees to bring them before God by name. Lest there be blood on my hands.

This morning I woke up thinking about what I wrote and the fact I need to rewrite. I shall write about teaching in my next entry. But in the mean time, God is good and greatly to be praised.

Dad's stone is out.

Dad went to report at Mt Alvernia after having rested on Sunday. I heard him cough violently that morning but he managed to control his cough much later. As I dashed out the door to work, I can only pray that God be with him.

School came and gone so quickly. I had time to work on some of my lessons and hopefully later on this week to mark all my tests I set last week.

Then came the time to go see dad. I took the bus not a cab. Because I wanted to take some time to prepare myself before going to Mt Alvernia. All the memories with mum returned like a flood to hit me. I waited for 157 and finally came after having waited for 20 minutes. It was unusual to wait this long for this popular bus. It was also good because then I had more time to prepare myself. To be honest, right now, I am really sick of doctors and hospitals and needles. Sick of listening to diagnosis and doctor's patronising comments and sometimes lies. So walking into Mt Alvernia is very difficult. It was here I was told my mum could only live 3 months.

Dad was in exactly the same ward mum first went into. St Joseph's ward. On the ground floor. I walked into the emergency ward, past it to see the cafeteria and remembered Siew Lian bought me a meal there because I had not eaten. I remembered buying the kids their meals too.

Right around the corner is a beautiful garden and then the registration and next to it the corridor to the ward. I remember the little chapel. I sat in there many times to pray for mum's recovery. I brought her in there when she could walk out of the ward to return home. She prayed there too for a short while before leaving for the house.

I stepped into the ward and saw my dad lying there peacefully. I didn't wake him. I went to take a quick bite and when I returned he was still soundly asleep. But I could see he sensed my presence and then he was awake.

Very unlike mum, he needed pampering. So I had to make sure he was comfortable. My uncle came and he brought fruits. You cannot tell my dad and my uncle apart when they are on the phone. They sound exactly the same. I couldn't tell my dad and uncle apart too when they speak.

Dad came out of the surgery complaining excruciating pain. He was so hungry. I fed him water and when dinner came, he finished everything. My uncle had to go and get some more food.

So thank you for praying. Dad is in good hands. We hope the kidneys will start working soon. Pray that the blood of Christ will continue to cover us during this ghost festival. Pray that Rebecca will recover from her flu and also to give her more rest.

When I was in the ward, the same old nurses still work there. Many remembered us. I told them mum has since gone home to be with the Lord. They consoled me a little. One of them, particular the one that mum liked, told me I looked tired and extremely exhausted. I told her I have been sick. Very sick. And then now, my dad to look after. I ask God for strength. I know well that if I cannot rest, I will not be able to look after anybody including myself. So pray I can rest.

Some days, I wish I don't have to get up and live. Because this body is just too tired. This morning, in my bible reading, the Lord showed me that Paul too wanted to depart and be with Christ. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. "

It is not easy to choose to live but there is work to be done. I want to know what else I have to do so I can just depart. I want to finish it quickly so that I can join my Father in Heaven. So Lord tell me what I have to finish so I can see you face to face.

Pray for me.

Sick all the time...

Dad will be going in tomorrow to Mt Alvernia. Whether he will be operated on will depends very much on whether his flu clears up tonight. If he is well enough, the operation will take place at 11am. We will need wisdom from God to know how to help him recover. He will be there for 5 days. Pray that God will guide the surgeon's hands and remove the stones and clear the renal tube. Pray that the flu she has will subside and be gone by morning. Pray that he be positive and we took some time trying to convince him he needs the surgery. They say it never rains but pours. Right now, we are inundated by illnesses. Pray for God's healing on each of us. Pray that He will bless us with good rest, good minds and good spirits.

Dad is going for an op to remove the stone

Monday morning both Rebecca and dad went to Mt Alvernia for their medical checkup. Dad is going to be operated on next Monday to remove a rather big stone in his renal tube. He will have to undergo a 8 inch long cut where the surgeon will go in to take it out physically. Pray that the surgery will be successful and not endanger his life. Because he has a heart condition, the surgeon will be checking his cardiac functions this Friday. Pray that all be well for him to go through surgery.

Rebecca has been ill too. Her kidneys are not working too good. She is easily tired and she is also falling sick. Pray for her as they do a check on her. She is now put on high blood pressure pills to make sure her BP is not moving up and down too much to affect her kidneys. Thomas is away for a business trip during this time so she needs special prayers to keep everything together.

Please pray for them. May the blood of Jesus so cover them and may God bless them with good health.

Dad has a big stone in his renal tube

Rebecca phoned me this morning and informed me that the CT scan results are out. The doctor found a big stone in dad's renal tube. He will be going to a surgeon and to get the stone out, the doctor is suggesting we go do endoscopy. He is worried about the pain in his throat. So please pray for him. He is thinking about the pain. I am worried about his health. He has not been sleeping well and has lost 2kg since mum's passing. He told me he couldn't sleep well at night and is tired. He has poor appetite too. I am worried.

My eyes are fuzzy these days. Perhaps from too much staring at the small screen. The legs are in good shape. I can still walk although with a little limp.

I had an unpleasant encounter yesterday afternoon while walking out of my school. The day before another unpleasant incident. A student lost my school's camera and came two months later, when I asked for him, to tell me "He is not apologetic but sort of apologetic." I do have my fair share of haughty students. And the worst thing of all is to have parents who support their haughtiness. Pride comes before a fall and I could see the fall already. As we take in the pride we have already fallen. The end of this not apologetic boy will be a sorry state if he does not humble himself. I made him write 1000 words reflection by hand.

Tonight was tough. We went to Laguna Park Hawker centre to eat. Mum was with us the last time about two months ago but this time she is gone. I cried. My heart is heavy.

But I know God is in control. He continues to lead and brings the best despite these difficult times.

An episode with my dad

The saying is always true. When you really lost something then will you know how much you needed that thing. If humans can be without emotions and don't build strings of attachments, then the passing of someone will be less painful.

These days, I watched my dad's grieving the passing of my mum. He would suddenly called home and then to realize no one is on the receiving end to answer his call. He would break down into tears as he drove along the highway. My heart does go out to him. But I always tell him that she is in the best place now. I rather exchange places with her and let her stay with him and she is in perfect health. But she wasn't. Now she is.

Everything seems the same yet so different without mum. Routines around the house have changed a little but were not major to affect our lives. I would rate our transition rather fine except for dad's grieving. Two nights ago, he went through mum's stuff and was totally devastated to find she kept coins in her drawers she saved. She also left behind a wallet of seven dollars as if she was going to the market. I left the house to meet my choir teacher who was ill and didn't talk to dad because Richard was on the phone with him. Dad receives phonecalls from mum's church who wanted to visit him and to spend time with him. But he shyed away. Even going to Hong Kong during the September holidays was rather unpleasant to him. But last night I had a break through, I think we can go to Hong Kong now.

He had some blood in his urine and he was checked again and a CT scan was done. Each time I hear about CT scan, I really detest the word.

Lately, I have been busy trying to cope with the heavy workload of setting worksheets and preparing lessons. But I did go visit a church at Newton. An old pastor from Indonesia preached in Chinese about Abraham and Sarah. He showed what it was like to be a friend of God. You know if we are friends with God, He would whisper the secrets to us. He whispered to Abraham how He would destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha. I wonder what it would be like if I am a friend of God too. What does it take for us to be Friends with God? What do friends do to become close? Is that how we should be with God?

Friends are very special people in my life and I have a few friends only. These I hold dear to my heart because we grow together like old wine. But with God, what is that relationship like?

I observed some things about how we treat God these days. With my mum passing, I am especially paying attention to how people treat God, how I treat God.

I observed that the people in churches today, and I agree with the pastor I heard on Sunday night, are DEAD. Many of us have the good news...that Jesus Saves and that we can be His children and be blessed by the fullness of joy when we rest in His presence. But what are we doing about it and what are we doing with the good news? The easiest excuse is to tell ourselves, we can worship God and sit at his feet to learn from him, to chat at anytime and it doesn't have to be Sunday. But thank God, He searches and tries the hearts. The heart, the bible says, is desperately wicked and deceitful above all things. So I looked into my heart and see why I don't want to go to church most of the time. My pretense was that I could not find a church like Foothills Alliance. So what is your excuse? And I moved away from the church for the last 9 years with this "Holy" excuse. But God knows that I was very caught up with keeping on with the "good" things in life. So how about you.

I am a teacher. Many times I have to wait for my invisible students. These students don't hand in work. I feel for God. Because we behave like my students. Hiding from him until he finds us. May be there was work for us to do and we didn't do it. Or pehaps there was soemthing more fun that distracted us from our focus on him. What would that be.

When God finds us, it will be too late. So be careful how long we let God wait. He can wait forever but how cold will your heart be? How ready will we let God speak to us? We should not let God wait, should we?

Jesus is enough. God is sufficient.

Pray for me. I have requested to go teach in Beijing. I need all your prayers that my father will be well and that he will enjoy the company of people and family.