This morning I chatted with Bonita before I started my day. I had a very bad night. Didn't sleep well and thus my mood was greatly affected. Bonita was rather flustered that I have refused to listen to her to get medical help for my depression. She was worried that I would be suicidal. I tried convincing her that I did go to a chinese physician and that my depression is not a medical issue alone but also others. And I managed to convince her that I have listened to her instructions and went for help and told the whole world what I am going through simply because I want people to pray.
Later in the day, she sent this in the mail. She wanted to tell me that I made a difference in her life. Thanks Bonita. Please view: http://www.acknowledgmentmovie.com/
The boy in this true story was about to kill himself because he thought he didn't make a difference in someone else's life. How often we get people around us telling us how bad we are and how we don't understand or don't do well. It is all so negative. The good we do, is never, ever remembered. The smile on our faces when someone needs one, the quiet holding of the hand, the free rides, the attendance at a concert, a simple sms, all these are forgotten. We forgot to thank these small little gestures of care and kindness.
I greatly disliked people thanking me without reasons. Thanks! For what? It sure feels good to know we have made a difference in someone else' life.
Bonita made a great difference in my life when she sat with me and worked through some of my life's darkest moments.
My dad for one made a great difference when he purposefully cook the soup for me at dinner.
Rebecca would try to bring the family together every Chinese New Year so we get to connect with our cousins.
Then of course there are my friends at Precept. Josephine for sending me SMS messages and eCards to encourage me and shared her evangelism with me. Thanks to Patrick, her husband for assuring my worth as a person.
There is Lena and Siew Lian all ready to listen and pray. This group of people make a difference because they also make sure I have some income and encourage me to press on.
Bee Yen and Peck San for making a difference in my life by making me active so I don't dwell on my depression. And they are part of the hedge I build for myself.
Abby will sit and listen. She would pray with me.
There is Helen who is just a call away and gives me the assurance that I don't fight this alone.
The simplest thing anyone can do right now is to pray that I walk out of it once and for all.
These people mattered to me. I know they are all worried. And I am fighting.
Josephine told me she couldn't believe that I can be depressed. She said I was always so cheerful. I told her that I could hide my depression rather well and I won't show unless I am too tired and then all hell broke loose when I start to spiral downwards.
But God is good all the time. Tomorrow is another day and His grace abound.
http://www.acknowledgmentmovie.com/
