I had a bad morning. I woke up with a body ache and from very bad sleep. This was because the day before I had too much sugars and even some ice-cream. Yah, I can almost hear my godsons protesting and qikun screaming and Bonita yelling STOP! I also learned that if I took my body to such extremes, I pay a high price the next few days. I am more and more convince that with raw food diet, I feel better and my mind is clearer. So looks like I have to go on raw foods again.
Today is my last teacher's day and it doesn't help when students gave me cakes, cookies, muffins and lots of chocolate bars. Worst still, I have a can of fruit candy. I will be sharing them all with my nieces although I ate some already. I am grateful most of all for the cards that some of them made to thank me for the teachings and the sharing throughout my stay in the school.
I am most surprised by two of my art students who returned to pay me a visit. I sent them to see my boss who also resigned this year. In fact I got as many boys to see her first. I wanted her to see how much she has done for them. She is always forgotten for the good she has done. She has given me so much opportunities to work with my students. She also guided me through some tough times and defended my cases against me. So I want to honour this friend who stood by me and is caring enough to tell me where I went wrong.
I have many takeaways from the school I have been working with. But the most important lesson I learned is to trust God and to obey Him. The wonderful thing is that no matter where I will be going, God is already there waiting and preparing for me the work He will begin.
I am so glad that some of my students who are Christians are encouraging me on towards starting my new assignment God is giving.
This school has given me great students to work with. When I told my colleagues I am leaving, most tell me that it is a loss to the school. So many of my students feel sad I am going but all still wish me well and the best. They want me to be happy.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
An interesting Sunday
I was out and about early morning to mark test papers. Yup, I have not finished. Then I opened my email to check and found a very unpleasant email. I have decided not to handle it and let God take charge. I think it is best. I can see the problem when I reach school tomorrow but I shall not think about it now.
I went to have breakfast with Shengquan. He was in Singapore for two days and he set aside two hours before he flew to Hong Kong where he is now having his attachment to spend some quality time with me. I am touched that he deliberately put aside time to remember an old teacher. He ate Hokkein mee and I had a bowl of Mee Pok (my favourite). We chatted about the school and about life in the future and what it will be like for me to leave the school and work somewhere else. He shared with me about his experience in the corporate world and how he felt that the local companies here are stifling every creativity and even the people working for our local government corporations are so tunnel. I understand where he is coming from. I could hear the excitement in his voice and his eyes are just elated with wonder. If you were to look at some of our graduates, I can only say they are fabulously tired.
After we parted ways, I went to church. I wanted to hear this speaker. Interesting speaker. He is a Japanese born American who speaks fluent english and holds an Israeli passport. He married a Jewish lady and then moved to Israel where he started reaching out to the Israelis there. Amazing isn't it. Israel invited him to be a PR there because of his wife's heritage. Will he be one of the Jews that will go through the tribulation? Don't know.
Since I started working on Daniel and about the second coming of Christ, I have been very interested to know what is Israel doing. So Peter Tsukahira shared about God's kingdom. God was the ruler of Israel when He led them out of Egypt. But they complained about not having a ruler that was in flesh and blood and so they were really taught a lesson. They were ruled by many different rulers, sent into captivity, tribes all governed by other emperors. But one day God will come back and claim them one by one.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Just being random
I finally found my edit mode. Yeah!
How was National Day? Well, I was busy preparing dinner for the whole family. The usual custom is that my family all come together to watch the celebration. The kids especially like to watch the fireworks from one of the windows in house and screamed. After dinner, I went back to my room to prepare the test papers. I have to set about 4 tests, 1 exam and all with answers ready. I was tired by 10 and dozed off as I laid on my bed to rest. I got up and tried working on it around 1130 but just couldn't open my eyes. So I switched off everything and went to bed.
My sugar controls are getting from good to bad to worse. I have been taking cakes. Aha! Yah...bad for me but I skipped my dinner to make sure my sugars are low. I know it is not right and probably you are all going to spank my hand but...I am really trying.
Yesterday I had a carrot cake. And today again. But I had this chance of meeting an ex boy who will be leaving for Urbana at midnight tomorrow. I am so happy for him. In 2004, he wanted to end it all. He was intelligent and his reasons of his non existence was really intellectual. I understood him perfectly then and now. But he was able to come out of it because now that he looked back, he is thankful for what he has now. He is able to go and study further under a special scholarship that pays him well. Mind you, he is a PR and was born in China. He became an officer and will be coming back to serve Singapore.
I never understood why he was so depressed to the point of seeing his non existence. Today he told me everything. I was not only shocked, I was sad. I gave him a hug before we parted. I will always remember MJ.
I instructed him that he should join a church in Urbana. I went online immediately to look for an Alliance church for him. Let's pray God will envelope him with so much love. It can be lonely and sad when you are overseas. If not for Bonita, I think my stay in Calgary would be so bleak.
I remember all my christmases in Calgary. Bonita would always make sure there were some international students in the house for Christmas. She would pick them up to the house. One year she even taught us how to make gingerbread house! It was good fun. So much snow, so cold outside and so warm inside. And through the air rang Christmas carols and bells. I miss my Calgary Christmases! This year I will try and get it going in my new house in Malaysia. I think all guests will have to bring their own chairs and beds to sleep and rags to clean up after the party. :)
And I did something interesting this morning. I went and shared at ACJC about doing research at my school. You should see all their teachers shock looks when I told them the rigour I put my students through. Best of all, I showed that although I come from wherever, we teachers from this school can be funny. We do laugh. hahaha.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Car Accident on my way to school
The past 2 weeks I have been getting up early at 4am to set papers for the tests and exams. It is extremely difficult to set them because I have to set them from scratch and with answers. That means tedious work. And I turned on my computer each morning and stared at the blank page I come to. Painstakingly, each page is filled or getting filled with diagrams.
I took sunday off to work on my exams and well, I did squeeze in some work but it was so tough that my exam papers setting took another week or two. Grilling!
Term 3 is always an extremely busy term and this morning was especially unnerving since I have to submit something for my colleague to work on.
Well, as usual dad likes to go to this little coffeeshop for the coffee. He will then drive me to school after about 630. Today we started off early and then as the taxi cruises towards the Bukit Timah Road, and into the second lane just outside the junior college, a loud thug and I leaned forward with the directory falling to the floor. My dad then said "We are hit." This is the second time that dad and I were involved in a car accident. The first was 2005. 4 years later, this morning another one. This one was different. He drove to the bus stop and I came right out of the car and calmly walked towards the driver.
The door opened and the first that greeted me was the smell of alcohol. I told him straight to his face "You are drunk." He said he was not. Then I retorted you smell like alcohol. He said he didn't drink but he closed his eyes and before he knew it his black Mitsubishi GLX hit my dad's taxi. He then asked me if his car was badly damaged. How would I know because it was 640 in the morning and the sky was dark and so was his BLACK car. Then my father came out of the taxi and he said that he would be reporting to Comfort Taxi for insurance and he immediately said he wanted to settle out of court. What came after that was even more ridiculous. He said he never banged into any car for the past three years. And I answered..."SO what?" Then I told him I was teaching in the school behind me. He exclaimed he too was an ex student from the same school. To that I said, "So?" I reminded him again that he was drunk. If there was a test, he will be deader than dead.
Anyway, I took down his particulars and we told him we will report the case to the insurance. He pleaded again and hid in one corner to phone. Later in the day, my dad called him and told him that his insurance has to pay about 3000 dollars or so for the damage. He told my dad that he had alcohol and was awake the whole night at SMU. My poor dad thought he was a lecturer. I told dad that he is probably a student at SMU who drank into the night and was heading home because he was driving a car with a red plate. He sped all the way.
I thank God that I didn't sufer from whiplash. My dad also spent time to tell him that should there be a human infront of him, he will be so so sorry. He was only worried that his mother will skin him alive and that his mother's insurance will be higher now. Well, if he was more responsible and not drink and drive, he will not end up like this.
I hope that this ex student will learn to value his chances. I actually told dad we should tell the police so he learns it well. My dad was more merciful. He said that he will have to be charged in court and have his license revoked. And I said that should be the way. Where we were this morning, students can be crossing the road. If he drinks, he should not drive. If he wants to drive, he should not sleep.
A lie is a lie. He gets away this time but that doesn't mean he can get away all the time.
Thank God for protecting dad and I this morning.
I took sunday off to work on my exams and well, I did squeeze in some work but it was so tough that my exam papers setting took another week or two. Grilling!
Term 3 is always an extremely busy term and this morning was especially unnerving since I have to submit something for my colleague to work on.
Well, as usual dad likes to go to this little coffeeshop for the coffee. He will then drive me to school after about 630. Today we started off early and then as the taxi cruises towards the Bukit Timah Road, and into the second lane just outside the junior college, a loud thug and I leaned forward with the directory falling to the floor. My dad then said "We are hit." This is the second time that dad and I were involved in a car accident. The first was 2005. 4 years later, this morning another one. This one was different. He drove to the bus stop and I came right out of the car and calmly walked towards the driver.
The door opened and the first that greeted me was the smell of alcohol. I told him straight to his face "You are drunk." He said he was not. Then I retorted you smell like alcohol. He said he didn't drink but he closed his eyes and before he knew it his black Mitsubishi GLX hit my dad's taxi. He then asked me if his car was badly damaged. How would I know because it was 640 in the morning and the sky was dark and so was his BLACK car. Then my father came out of the taxi and he said that he would be reporting to Comfort Taxi for insurance and he immediately said he wanted to settle out of court. What came after that was even more ridiculous. He said he never banged into any car for the past three years. And I answered..."SO what?" Then I told him I was teaching in the school behind me. He exclaimed he too was an ex student from the same school. To that I said, "So?" I reminded him again that he was drunk. If there was a test, he will be deader than dead.
Anyway, I took down his particulars and we told him we will report the case to the insurance. He pleaded again and hid in one corner to phone. Later in the day, my dad called him and told him that his insurance has to pay about 3000 dollars or so for the damage. He told my dad that he had alcohol and was awake the whole night at SMU. My poor dad thought he was a lecturer. I told dad that he is probably a student at SMU who drank into the night and was heading home because he was driving a car with a red plate. He sped all the way.
I thank God that I didn't sufer from whiplash. My dad also spent time to tell him that should there be a human infront of him, he will be so so sorry. He was only worried that his mother will skin him alive and that his mother's insurance will be higher now. Well, if he was more responsible and not drink and drive, he will not end up like this.
I hope that this ex student will learn to value his chances. I actually told dad we should tell the police so he learns it well. My dad was more merciful. He said that he will have to be charged in court and have his license revoked. And I said that should be the way. Where we were this morning, students can be crossing the road. If he drinks, he should not drive. If he wants to drive, he should not sleep.
A lie is a lie. He gets away this time but that doesn't mean he can get away all the time.
Thank God for protecting dad and I this morning.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
I have spoken!
The week has been good. Good because I am clearer about the directions to take. A bit fearful of what is to come and a lot of loss but I know God is ahead of me so He will take care of things.
Somehow my blogger is not working with all the edits I suppose I will have to make do with what I have.
I have spoken to the principal and my decision is made. I am glad he spoke to me because he only showed clearly where God wants me to be. I am confident of this that whatever I leave behind will in no way hold me back to surge forward. I don't know what to do with what I am going to do but as usual God will take the lead.
Everytime when He decides it is time for me to move, He will prepare the way. And throughout the week after my talk with the principal I feel a great sense of peace. I know what lies ahead is not easy. Some people are objecting and claiming that i will not make it. Some hinted that this is not my true happiness. My principal for one believes my decision to take up the new position will cause me great unhappiness because I am not one person who wants leadership.
All along I know I am cut out to lead. But I have never ever wanted to take up any positions because I know the tremendous amount of responsibilities behind leadership and I wanted to have more time to look around, travel and do other stuff. I have since young resented taking up any leadership position because I have always been ear marked for the positions. Even at church it was difficult to lie low and I tried very hard to lie low.
But I suppose it is time to take up what God has always wanted me to do. To be a leader is a lot of hard work. Leaders have to walk the talk and always think ahead of others. Must be visionary and always hold the interest of all those who follow them at heart at all times. This is my definition of a leader. May be it is not your definition and you can define it the way you want it. As a result of what I envisioned as a leader, leadership is something that I have always postponed throughout my life until now.
A born leader cannot hide from leadership. I led in my own way amongst those who are under my charge. In a way to teach is to lead. But it is now time for me to lead in another dimension. I want to lead teachers.
Pray for me as I take on this new position. It is different from teaching students. Pray that I will be able to learn and work with the teachers under my charge. A leader must learn to listen to the needs of those under his or her charge. A leader must learn to play with those under his or her charge. Sometimes even cry with them. Idealistic? Perhaps. But those who know me will know this, I will try my best to bring about a positive learning experience with those I am leading.
Many of my NIE friends and those who know me well have asked that I return to NIE where I could do more. In fact one of my colleague Steven told me that the school I am now at is too small for a creative person like me. He told me I should be at the university. This came as a shock because I don't think I am ever creative at all. Another of my colleague complimented that she has never seen anyone so inspirational in teaching a class like I did. My reporting officer also told another colleague that she has seen few that have impacted students. I think it is more like blasting them back to their senses...There are also NIE trainees I trained who always asked me to set up a school so they could work with me. I praise God for their confidence in my leadership and affirming me for what I can do. I can only do all these things because of Christ. If not because of the opportunity He has given me to meet all of you great people, I will not be who I am.
I thank God for the gift of teaching. I praise Him for allowing me to take my time to grow to be in the new position I will be taking up. This headship unlike others, is not about admin but about hearts, the very place I hope all those whom I will lead will find before my journey ends. God has His timing for everything and His Holy Spirit is gentle and patient. If I am not willing to be what He wants me to be, He wont' push. But I feel a great need now to move on.
I am so happy that throughout my stay these last three years God has given my students and colleagues to keep me walking the path. My students from 2007 to the present have proven to be supportive and kind to me. I thank God for everyone of them, for standing by me and giving me the respect for what I do. They have been most gracious. I have some very wonderful colleagues who stood by me in my time of need and their wonderful friendship and support made my stay bearable and a little more fun. Most of all I thank my almighty God for giving permission to leave something I so badly want to leave behind so I can move forward. And for His blessing and assurance that even though the land is a wilderness, He will water it for me.
I have a dream. And my dream is to teach wherever I go. My dearest friends will know what I always wanted to do. And it is becoming more of a reality as the days draw near. Thank you Lord for drawing me closer to the work you have started in my heart. And as YOU unveil the will for my life, I pray YOU will keep me focus on YOU and YOU alone. Make my path straight Lord.
Somehow my blogger is not working with all the edits I suppose I will have to make do with what I have.
I have spoken to the principal and my decision is made. I am glad he spoke to me because he only showed clearly where God wants me to be. I am confident of this that whatever I leave behind will in no way hold me back to surge forward. I don't know what to do with what I am going to do but as usual God will take the lead.
Everytime when He decides it is time for me to move, He will prepare the way. And throughout the week after my talk with the principal I feel a great sense of peace. I know what lies ahead is not easy. Some people are objecting and claiming that i will not make it. Some hinted that this is not my true happiness. My principal for one believes my decision to take up the new position will cause me great unhappiness because I am not one person who wants leadership.
All along I know I am cut out to lead. But I have never ever wanted to take up any positions because I know the tremendous amount of responsibilities behind leadership and I wanted to have more time to look around, travel and do other stuff. I have since young resented taking up any leadership position because I have always been ear marked for the positions. Even at church it was difficult to lie low and I tried very hard to lie low.
But I suppose it is time to take up what God has always wanted me to do. To be a leader is a lot of hard work. Leaders have to walk the talk and always think ahead of others. Must be visionary and always hold the interest of all those who follow them at heart at all times. This is my definition of a leader. May be it is not your definition and you can define it the way you want it. As a result of what I envisioned as a leader, leadership is something that I have always postponed throughout my life until now.
A born leader cannot hide from leadership. I led in my own way amongst those who are under my charge. In a way to teach is to lead. But it is now time for me to lead in another dimension. I want to lead teachers.
Pray for me as I take on this new position. It is different from teaching students. Pray that I will be able to learn and work with the teachers under my charge. A leader must learn to listen to the needs of those under his or her charge. A leader must learn to play with those under his or her charge. Sometimes even cry with them. Idealistic? Perhaps. But those who know me will know this, I will try my best to bring about a positive learning experience with those I am leading.
Many of my NIE friends and those who know me well have asked that I return to NIE where I could do more. In fact one of my colleague Steven told me that the school I am now at is too small for a creative person like me. He told me I should be at the university. This came as a shock because I don't think I am ever creative at all. Another of my colleague complimented that she has never seen anyone so inspirational in teaching a class like I did. My reporting officer also told another colleague that she has seen few that have impacted students. I think it is more like blasting them back to their senses...There are also NIE trainees I trained who always asked me to set up a school so they could work with me. I praise God for their confidence in my leadership and affirming me for what I can do. I can only do all these things because of Christ. If not because of the opportunity He has given me to meet all of you great people, I will not be who I am.
I thank God for the gift of teaching. I praise Him for allowing me to take my time to grow to be in the new position I will be taking up. This headship unlike others, is not about admin but about hearts, the very place I hope all those whom I will lead will find before my journey ends. God has His timing for everything and His Holy Spirit is gentle and patient. If I am not willing to be what He wants me to be, He wont' push. But I feel a great need now to move on.
I am so happy that throughout my stay these last three years God has given my students and colleagues to keep me walking the path. My students from 2007 to the present have proven to be supportive and kind to me. I thank God for everyone of them, for standing by me and giving me the respect for what I do. They have been most gracious. I have some very wonderful colleagues who stood by me in my time of need and their wonderful friendship and support made my stay bearable and a little more fun. Most of all I thank my almighty God for giving permission to leave something I so badly want to leave behind so I can move forward. And for His blessing and assurance that even though the land is a wilderness, He will water it for me.
I have a dream. And my dream is to teach wherever I go. My dearest friends will know what I always wanted to do. And it is becoming more of a reality as the days draw near. Thank you Lord for drawing me closer to the work you have started in my heart. And as YOU unveil the will for my life, I pray YOU will keep me focus on YOU and YOU alone. Make my path straight Lord.
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