Mum returned from her medical appointment. The doctor was very pleased with how well she is doing. She put on 1.5 kg within the last two weeks and she managed to stay on her feet longer today. She came home and ate a big bowl of instant noodles. I overheard a conversation with her friends yesterday that when she cooks for herself, she tends to eat better. So that tells you a lot about my cooking. She uses MSG, I don't. She adds salt, I used sea salt and as far as possible avoid anything with IRON in it for her.
I have decided to lean on Jesus and refused to call mum today even though I was tempted to. I am also thankful that the sun was hot and gruelling today reminding me once again of God's promise to my family when the journey began. I felt peace throughout the day about mum. Peace that really surpassed all understanding about the outcome, about how she would be. I trusted that God went with her and sustained her throughout the whole medical appointment that started at 9am. She didn't get home till after three. There she met a friend who told her that two months after mum was operated on, she too was hospitalized for colon cancer with a tumor the size of an orange. She is undergoing chemotherapy too. I commented that many people are suffering from this sickness.
Joshua said that cancer is immortal cells living in a mortal body. How ironic! How well put. He adviced that I should not see just gloom because there is sunshine. I agree to a certain extent but humans are humans and our feeble faith leans on our own understanding about how God should work. Many times we doubt if God will answer our prayers. But it is not about whether God will answer prayers it is about if we are happy with the answers He gives us.
Richard's friends came over to cheer her up two days ago. They had a good laugh. We are thankful for such visitors. Laughter is really the best medicine. I think I need to get a good laugh myself.
As of Wednesday, many of my trainees I previously shared my experiences with are out to enjoy their practicum. So each day when I get up to go to work, I now know they are also getting up early to go to work. I miss being the supervisor. Each visit to a new school taught me new things about the education system and about myself as a teacher. It is certainly going to be tough trying to prepare lessons everyday but surely it can be done. I prepare lessons on the day itself sometimes. Well that is where all the stress come from and the shallow breath is not good. Here is wishing all my trainees a wonderful time at Practicum. Enjoy the little ones. They are precious.
Talk to you all again.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
22 February 2007
Gong Xi Fa Cai to all of you dear friends. I thank all of you for praying. Mum is resting well at home. She even went over to Rebecca's on the second day for lunch and dinner. The reuninon dinner was good. I bombed one dish and melted all the sea cucumber in the pot because I put them all in the thermal pot. Moral of the story is never to over cook these precious, expensive creatures for too long or your dish will look very thick.
Dad was happy most of the time because with mum home, he would chat her up and fussed around her as to what to eat. i was totally exhausted by the cooking sessions and thanks to Rebecca and Serina for their willingness to clear up after my mess in the kitchen, I managed to catch some sleep. I was not able to mark at all because I was simply tired out. Didn't manage to go very far except to Rebecca and caught a movie with my friend Maureen on the second day. The theatres were all packed and even first row seats were taken. Ridiculously bored people we are. I guess.
Tomorrow mum will be going back for the checkups and the last round of chemo drugs to take. Please pray that the tumors will shrink and that her blood will be in good count for her to take the third round. Mum managed to go downstairs the other day to visit with her friends at the coffee shop. Her appetite is not good but she force feed herself.
The new year is kind of strange with Rebecca and I trying to catch up on some of mum's favourite dishes. She did a few for us and we understudy her. One of the dish we have not had in the last one year is the special hakka dish that she made with yam. Mum showed me and she said if I didn't learn it then when she is gone, we will have missed the dish. I stood at the table taking all in.
We talked about things that might happen but we were both calmer. I thank all of you for praying, I am learning to lean on Jesus. When she came home the first day two weeks ago, I was exasperated. She told me she would look after herself and nothing would happen to her while I went to work. The next morning, she was up and early and I went to her, held her by the hand and prayed. Told her that I would leave her in God's hands and I have asked angels to encompass her. Then I left. The whole day I never called, never bugged her until I went home and she told me she had a good day.
Mum has been praying and I got my entire family praying for me as I worked in school. Today I went into rage when I walked into a dirty class and gave my piece of mind. For two months we tolerated studying in a very messy class but today is enough. I was totally not pleased. I asked a colleague if it was me or just the group of boys we have that just will not respect themselves and their friends. I am disappointed that there is no pride at all in them and they are not even ashamed about their untidy looks. Enough said.
I lost my cool today and I totally am annoyed with myself. Is that passion? Do I still have passion to teach the next day? Why do students not listen well? Too much wax?
I will go home today to tell Mum about what happened because it bothers me very much that I have to do this.
My aunt is arriving tomorrow afternoon to visit with mum. She is a very special aunt and we all love to have her. Pray that mum will not be too tired with aunt around because she tends to get too inquisitive when visitors from Ipoh come. Pray my aunt will not bring too many goodies too because she cannot carry too many and we want her to rest too.
Thank you so much for praying and sharing my moments with me. I go take lunch now.
Gong Xi Fa Cai to all of you dear friends. I thank all of you for praying. Mum is resting well at home. She even went over to Rebecca's on the second day for lunch and dinner. The reuninon dinner was good. I bombed one dish and melted all the sea cucumber in the pot because I put them all in the thermal pot. Moral of the story is never to over cook these precious, expensive creatures for too long or your dish will look very thick.
Dad was happy most of the time because with mum home, he would chat her up and fussed around her as to what to eat. i was totally exhausted by the cooking sessions and thanks to Rebecca and Serina for their willingness to clear up after my mess in the kitchen, I managed to catch some sleep. I was not able to mark at all because I was simply tired out. Didn't manage to go very far except to Rebecca and caught a movie with my friend Maureen on the second day. The theatres were all packed and even first row seats were taken. Ridiculously bored people we are. I guess.
Tomorrow mum will be going back for the checkups and the last round of chemo drugs to take. Please pray that the tumors will shrink and that her blood will be in good count for her to take the third round. Mum managed to go downstairs the other day to visit with her friends at the coffee shop. Her appetite is not good but she force feed herself.
The new year is kind of strange with Rebecca and I trying to catch up on some of mum's favourite dishes. She did a few for us and we understudy her. One of the dish we have not had in the last one year is the special hakka dish that she made with yam. Mum showed me and she said if I didn't learn it then when she is gone, we will have missed the dish. I stood at the table taking all in.
We talked about things that might happen but we were both calmer. I thank all of you for praying, I am learning to lean on Jesus. When she came home the first day two weeks ago, I was exasperated. She told me she would look after herself and nothing would happen to her while I went to work. The next morning, she was up and early and I went to her, held her by the hand and prayed. Told her that I would leave her in God's hands and I have asked angels to encompass her. Then I left. The whole day I never called, never bugged her until I went home and she told me she had a good day.
Mum has been praying and I got my entire family praying for me as I worked in school. Today I went into rage when I walked into a dirty class and gave my piece of mind. For two months we tolerated studying in a very messy class but today is enough. I was totally not pleased. I asked a colleague if it was me or just the group of boys we have that just will not respect themselves and their friends. I am disappointed that there is no pride at all in them and they are not even ashamed about their untidy looks. Enough said.
I lost my cool today and I totally am annoyed with myself. Is that passion? Do I still have passion to teach the next day? Why do students not listen well? Too much wax?
I will go home today to tell Mum about what happened because it bothers me very much that I have to do this.
My aunt is arriving tomorrow afternoon to visit with mum. She is a very special aunt and we all love to have her. Pray that mum will not be too tired with aunt around because she tends to get too inquisitive when visitors from Ipoh come. Pray my aunt will not bring too many goodies too because she cannot carry too many and we want her to rest too.
Thank you so much for praying and sharing my moments with me. I go take lunch now.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
11th February 2007
Mum busied herself to get ready for the Chinese New Year. She taught me how to make gluten for a vegetarian dish that she has taught all three of us to cook. Each with our own improved version but still nothing like Mum's. She ate well these two days and she even has the strength to go marketing with me and dad on Saturday morning. She was up and about for two hours as we go shopping for dried goods for the new year. She made plans about what to cook so she decided not to go to Rebecca's for the week. Her second course of chemotherapy will end this Tuesday. We will rest until the 19th before going for the last round. Please pray for us during this lunar new year. I will be cooking most of the dishes and I hope I can do as good a job as mum. Pray that mum will be able to rest well. There will be visitors and we pray that they will come but not stay long so she can catch some rest. Pray she will not catch any virus especially with people who will come visiting. Pray for the children, my nieces and nephews that they will be healthy and not bring any viruses back from their schools. Pray that dad will be healthy too.
She rushed me to church this morning. I forgot that there is a swap of pastor. He will be coming from California. I was late for service but it was a good sermon. It dealt with small groups. I also got a very unpleasant experience this morning with regard to going to church. This brings me to talk about being fashionable with GOD. For some nine years now I have been looking for a church. I did go church hunting when I got back from Calgary initially but none I found to be what I would call home. So I stopped going to church entirely. I only began to go to church about two years ago when an ex student told me that God wanted me back at church. My mum was always nagging at me to go back to church and occasionally I attended her chinese church. But I was never committed to any and when I go church, mum will always be so happy. She believed that when I went church, I would be changed by Jesus. Well, I was not so obedient until recently in November. I believed those who followed my blog know that.
I always rationalized why I should not go church. One of the reasons is that the church today are more into food. Many many tables of food after service. The fellowship at the tables although brought up a lot of conversation but is that all to Christian fellowship. I also found that many young people today go to church because they are INTO God for the moment. When will they be OUT of God. Is it fashionable to be a Christian? Is that it? I struggled with this for a while now. What does it mean for many young people to be INTO God? If God be real, then why is God treated so lightly?
I realized I took God very lightly too for the last nine years. The time I could have spent at the throne of Grace I was INTO something or OUT of something. I used to go to Karaoke at the RC while people sang at church or read the bible at Home just to ease my conscience. But it is nothing like going to Church. Not every sunday is a great sunday, an awakening sunday because there are boring sermons, poor singing and really boring day but we are there not to be entertained but to meet GOd.
I wonder if meeting God means some hair raising event. Will it be as if the lightning struck right beside you? I only want this...that God be revealed in all His glory. Today's sermon mentioned about the need to be gathered together as Christians because the days are coming. All the more we should gather. It struck me then the days are coming are the dark days, the end times. These are the days. The time has come for us to come together to support each other in these dark times. Pollution, environmental degradation, wars, sickness, rebellion etc. All telling us that this is a tough world we live in and we need each other all the more. When saints gather to pray for each other, then we find strength, we remind ourselves of who we believe, why we believe and to continue on to believe He will come soon. I find that I wasted 9 years. I could have used those times to pray for my brethen and grow together. I cannot tell God I love Him and stay at home to worship Him alone. Pray for me that I will remember what I learned today.
Mum busied herself to get ready for the Chinese New Year. She taught me how to make gluten for a vegetarian dish that she has taught all three of us to cook. Each with our own improved version but still nothing like Mum's. She ate well these two days and she even has the strength to go marketing with me and dad on Saturday morning. She was up and about for two hours as we go shopping for dried goods for the new year. She made plans about what to cook so she decided not to go to Rebecca's for the week. Her second course of chemotherapy will end this Tuesday. We will rest until the 19th before going for the last round. Please pray for us during this lunar new year. I will be cooking most of the dishes and I hope I can do as good a job as mum. Pray that mum will be able to rest well. There will be visitors and we pray that they will come but not stay long so she can catch some rest. Pray she will not catch any virus especially with people who will come visiting. Pray for the children, my nieces and nephews that they will be healthy and not bring any viruses back from their schools. Pray that dad will be healthy too.
She rushed me to church this morning. I forgot that there is a swap of pastor. He will be coming from California. I was late for service but it was a good sermon. It dealt with small groups. I also got a very unpleasant experience this morning with regard to going to church. This brings me to talk about being fashionable with GOD. For some nine years now I have been looking for a church. I did go church hunting when I got back from Calgary initially but none I found to be what I would call home. So I stopped going to church entirely. I only began to go to church about two years ago when an ex student told me that God wanted me back at church. My mum was always nagging at me to go back to church and occasionally I attended her chinese church. But I was never committed to any and when I go church, mum will always be so happy. She believed that when I went church, I would be changed by Jesus. Well, I was not so obedient until recently in November. I believed those who followed my blog know that.
I always rationalized why I should not go church. One of the reasons is that the church today are more into food. Many many tables of food after service. The fellowship at the tables although brought up a lot of conversation but is that all to Christian fellowship. I also found that many young people today go to church because they are INTO God for the moment. When will they be OUT of God. Is it fashionable to be a Christian? Is that it? I struggled with this for a while now. What does it mean for many young people to be INTO God? If God be real, then why is God treated so lightly?
I realized I took God very lightly too for the last nine years. The time I could have spent at the throne of Grace I was INTO something or OUT of something. I used to go to Karaoke at the RC while people sang at church or read the bible at Home just to ease my conscience. But it is nothing like going to Church. Not every sunday is a great sunday, an awakening sunday because there are boring sermons, poor singing and really boring day but we are there not to be entertained but to meet GOd.
I wonder if meeting God means some hair raising event. Will it be as if the lightning struck right beside you? I only want this...that God be revealed in all His glory. Today's sermon mentioned about the need to be gathered together as Christians because the days are coming. All the more we should gather. It struck me then the days are coming are the dark days, the end times. These are the days. The time has come for us to come together to support each other in these dark times. Pollution, environmental degradation, wars, sickness, rebellion etc. All telling us that this is a tough world we live in and we need each other all the more. When saints gather to pray for each other, then we find strength, we remind ourselves of who we believe, why we believe and to continue on to believe He will come soon. I find that I wasted 9 years. I could have used those times to pray for my brethen and grow together. I cannot tell God I love Him and stay at home to worship Him alone. Pray for me that I will remember what I learned today.
Are you fashionable with God? Are you INTO or OUT of God? What do we take God for? I don't know how to answer the questions for you. But today, I tasted what it was like when I told God, I took Him seriously only by staying away from His church and that Hurt Him greatly . I felt that pain this morning. I am sure He felt it for all nine years.
The Pastor also preached about why some people just don't want to go church or join a small group. So young people reading my blog, are you serious about whom you believe? For those who have always been going to church, are you doing it because you want to support fellow brethren or you are just INTO church?
Have a great week.
The Pastor also preached about why some people just don't want to go church or join a small group. So young people reading my blog, are you serious about whom you believe? For those who have always been going to church, are you doing it because you want to support fellow brethren or you are just INTO church?
Have a great week.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
5th February 2007
Mum was home for the weekend. I didn't know until Friday noon that she would be home. I was fortunate that my colleague Ros gave me permission to come home early to clean up the messy rooms. I dashed out of school at about 1620 and reached home within 20 minutes to clean the house. Within an hour, I cleared up the mess and was out with a friend. I came home to find her watching television. We had a little chat and she told me about what happened over the week at Rebecca's and her phone chats with Stacia.
Sunday morning, I was up and about to prepare her breakfast. She sat at the table to eat and we chatted. She told me about the pain in her stomach. I told her it is better to have pain then not to have life. She said that sometimes the pain was too excruciating. So please pray for her and that her stomach lining will improve. She told me she saw this as a gastric issue not cancer. She dealt with it by not thinking it is there. She also said that she trusts God and that Jesus will be done.
She cooked two dishes on Sunday night. They were delicious. The dishes felt so mum. I could never cook like her. Simple and great.
When we started this journey, I really thought there was only darkness. But God showed me so much more light. After the sunday service and holy communion, I met my aunts and uncles while checking out at the nearest hawker centre. I was alone and had wanted a quick bite before heading home. My legs were aching and knees hurting. I suspected gout and was confirmed when I went to the chinese physician that afternoon. I met my distant cousins at lunch and because we are all in God's family, we got along pretty well. Just got to know one of my cousins is a lawyer for the peace corps of the UN and another working as a number cruncher at DBS. My mother never really liked to tell people much about this side of her relatives because they are well to do. But my aunts are wonderful. It was because of my grand aunts that we came to know the Lord. After lunch I headed for home not forgetting to get mum some snacks. We are trying all ways and means to make sure she eats even if it is a little bit.
Sunday message was about having faith, faith like that of a mustard seed. My pastor expounded that the mustard seed is not small seed. It could grow to become the tallest tree in the garden. Should you eat one mustard and chew on it, it can certainly make your mouth warm. Such is faith. Starts small and then big influence. This message reminded me of trusting God with the simplest thing in life and not tell him that we should only give him the toughest of things before we call on him. Trusting God is in charge of even our hair is what we call faith.
So the next time you look at the mustard seed remember that is all it takes for God to do wonders in our lives...Faith of a mustard seed.
Tonight, dad told me mum's stomach did not hurt at all the whole day. Praise God! So he told me to get a chicken to cook for her. I have prepared all the ingredients and tomorrow morning I will pressurized the chicken. He wanted it done a certain way with certain ingredients. He really loves her so much. And she loves him too. She told me at sunday breakfast that she felt an overwhelming sense of sadness as she left the home to go to Rebecca's last sunday evening. She saw he was alone and that picture did not quite sit well with her. I listened to the love demonstrated as I down my coffee.
Every Monday is a crazy day with preparations. Today is no exception. I was asked to see the principal this afternoon. It was not a bad idea but supposedly important to attend because we need to see some guests.
I am tired now. Ready for Bed? You bet!
Mum was home for the weekend. I didn't know until Friday noon that she would be home. I was fortunate that my colleague Ros gave me permission to come home early to clean up the messy rooms. I dashed out of school at about 1620 and reached home within 20 minutes to clean the house. Within an hour, I cleared up the mess and was out with a friend. I came home to find her watching television. We had a little chat and she told me about what happened over the week at Rebecca's and her phone chats with Stacia.
Sunday morning, I was up and about to prepare her breakfast. She sat at the table to eat and we chatted. She told me about the pain in her stomach. I told her it is better to have pain then not to have life. She said that sometimes the pain was too excruciating. So please pray for her and that her stomach lining will improve. She told me she saw this as a gastric issue not cancer. She dealt with it by not thinking it is there. She also said that she trusts God and that Jesus will be done.
She cooked two dishes on Sunday night. They were delicious. The dishes felt so mum. I could never cook like her. Simple and great.
When we started this journey, I really thought there was only darkness. But God showed me so much more light. After the sunday service and holy communion, I met my aunts and uncles while checking out at the nearest hawker centre. I was alone and had wanted a quick bite before heading home. My legs were aching and knees hurting. I suspected gout and was confirmed when I went to the chinese physician that afternoon. I met my distant cousins at lunch and because we are all in God's family, we got along pretty well. Just got to know one of my cousins is a lawyer for the peace corps of the UN and another working as a number cruncher at DBS. My mother never really liked to tell people much about this side of her relatives because they are well to do. But my aunts are wonderful. It was because of my grand aunts that we came to know the Lord. After lunch I headed for home not forgetting to get mum some snacks. We are trying all ways and means to make sure she eats even if it is a little bit.
Sunday message was about having faith, faith like that of a mustard seed. My pastor expounded that the mustard seed is not small seed. It could grow to become the tallest tree in the garden. Should you eat one mustard and chew on it, it can certainly make your mouth warm. Such is faith. Starts small and then big influence. This message reminded me of trusting God with the simplest thing in life and not tell him that we should only give him the toughest of things before we call on him. Trusting God is in charge of even our hair is what we call faith.
So the next time you look at the mustard seed remember that is all it takes for God to do wonders in our lives...Faith of a mustard seed.
Tonight, dad told me mum's stomach did not hurt at all the whole day. Praise God! So he told me to get a chicken to cook for her. I have prepared all the ingredients and tomorrow morning I will pressurized the chicken. He wanted it done a certain way with certain ingredients. He really loves her so much. And she loves him too. She told me at sunday breakfast that she felt an overwhelming sense of sadness as she left the home to go to Rebecca's last sunday evening. She saw he was alone and that picture did not quite sit well with her. I listened to the love demonstrated as I down my coffee.
Every Monday is a crazy day with preparations. Today is no exception. I was asked to see the principal this afternoon. It was not a bad idea but supposedly important to attend because we need to see some guests.
I am tired now. Ready for Bed? You bet!
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