Shutting my world out...

I decided to shut myself out. So no more blogs for this weekend and for the next week.

Why? Because I want to think.

Thanks for reading all these times. And remembering my mother with me, tolerating my ranting. You are most patient. If the Lord is willing, I will blog again but for now I want to think.

Trust

It is a difficult thing to TRUST. Trust is easily broken and difficult to build again. Here is a three part sermon by Kurt Wise. I heard about him through a friend at dinner last night. I am searching for another sermon about the FLOOD. But for now, this Sermon is so good. It gives me faith to believe in an AWESOME GOD. I am persuaded that He is the only God who will pursue me through all means so that I might know Him and the power of His resurrection. 

I hope God will speak to you as much as they all speak to me. 

Kurt Wise is a geologist. A very clever geologist!

Spirit Filled Believer

As I am blogging, it is raining buckets outside. A friend from Bangkok is visiting and going home with her son. I wonder if she brought the rains...hahahaha

This morning's sermon at BBTC was very good. I was super early and was ready for church although there were quite a few things I had to do later in the day, I set my heart to hear God. 

As we were worshiping God, two people came to my side. They were my colleagues I am working with now. They sat beside me throughout the service. It is wonderful to serve together and also worship together. My subject head accepted the Lord. We rejoice every time she attends the service. 

Elder Jeffrey Goh was the speaker. He is a really entertaining and funny guy but the messages he gives are most often very serious. The part about the sermon I liked best was how to identify spirit filled believers. One of the sign is that the spirit filled believer is willing to embrace everything from God. 

He told of a woman who woke up one morning and she found she only had three strands of hair on her head. She looked towards heaven and thanked God for those three strands and braided them...ah! She was pretty already. 

The second morning, she woke up and you should have guessed what happened. She had only two strands of hair on her head. Again she looked up and with her palms clasped together, she thanked God for the two strands. She did a centre parting of her hair and she beemed. 

The third day, she woke up and yes, she had only one strand left. She was happy that she could tie a pony tail. She got a small piece of ribbon and was glad she could swing it around. 

Then come the fourth day. She woke up and she had no hair left. Do you think she will still thank God? If you are this woman, what would you thank God for? The answer is in the coming blog entry....hahahaha

He told us to stop our grumbling and be thankful for the job we have, for the horrible creatures in our lives that can make us stronger and for all the good, the bad and the ugly.


My theme this year seems to dwell on giving up people, things and events. Yet God repeatedly tells me to stay and fight on and watch Him do a greater work in these people, things and events. It is not that I don't believe God. It is more that I don't have the energy to move on. 


Am I spirit filled? I think God is the judge. He will know where I stand in this matter. But I am always grateful. Grateful that I am still here. I still have the life to be able to write. Grateful that though people will forget me at least I am remembered for the little that I do. Grateful that when I go church God meet me every time. Grateful that I still have 20 over years of good friends to cherish the rest of my days with.

Although I don't like my country and some of the things and people here, God has put me here for a reason. I am grateful for all the people I have met and we crossed paths. Whether the memories are good or bad, I am grateful for these memories. God is always good. He uses people to make me stronger if I don't die from the experience. 

A spirit filled life will wait on God and so I will wait. It is a life not prone to act according to its own desires but according to God's will and law. It is contentment with great gain when we tell God to come and work in our lives and clean up major areas. He is cleaning me inside out. Sometimes tough but often times good after the cleansing.

I told Bonita today that I am actually running on empty, needing a long rest from the struggles of the past year. She is aware and she told me to pace and to rest in the Lord. I am. But not enough. I hope to be able to fully rest in Christ alone. Pray for me as I finish off this month. It has been a very tiring year for me...emotionally drained and physically not available sometimes to even think straight. I really need to rest. But spiritually there is great awakening. Awakened to the realisation that I must decrease whereas God must increase in my life and this is difficult lesson to surrender all. By God's grace I will learn it.

How do you want to write the end of your life's journey?

We finished the study of Nehemiah last Saturday. It was a very thought provoking end and got me really interested in looking at how each book of the bible began and how each book ended to lead on to the next beginning. There were serious thinking in the class on Saturday. And we are all challenged to think about how we want to write the end of our life's story.

Kay Arthur began with THE END WILL COME for both Christians and non Christians. On that day, every knee will bow, every tongue will confess Jesus is Lord. But for some it will be too late. For those of us who called ourselves Christians, we will have to answer to the deeds done in our body. Whether the way we live is pleasing or not pleasing to God and whether the talents He has given us have been well used. 

Ah...God is a Just God and He will reward and He will judge. This aspect of God is not often mentioned these days for fear that we will turn people away from A loving God. 

I cannot help but to tell of this other side of God because it is this other side of God that will cause us to live cautiously in this treacherous world. We cannot live like there is no judgement because God is already judging the world. He is already showing us that the birth pangs are beginning. The earth has been shaking more violently by the days. The earth is flooded all over...unprecedented flooding and exceptional weather. Is this not a God who will do what He says He will do? How long will He tarry as the world's become more and more wicked.

Matthew 24: 6-13. Check against these verses and see if these that were foretold are already happening:

You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. 7 For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes. 8 But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs. 9 “Then they will deliver you to tribulation, and will kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name. 10 At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another. 11 Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many. 12 Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold. 13 But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved.

The signs are already there. I used to remember Pastor Steve Elliot who would pray every week at the pulpit that God comes quickly. I also want God to come quickly.

After George and Grace left and meeting my friends I know from Calgary, I long for Canada even more. I hope the Lord doesn't tarry but come fast. I want to be caught up in the air and if I cannot, then I want God to take me home.

Tonight I spoke to my family about a deep desire to return to Calgary. My sister was shocked and so was my father. But I have always wanted to stay in Calgary for good. I have to think about how to write the end to my life's journey. I need to know what I have to do and need to do and then to think about what I want to do. God is first and foremost. If God still wants me to stay, I will obey. But I want to be convinced that this need to stay is for a bigger purpose. I have to learn to be a little selfish. I need to think about myself for a bit now. Sometimes I do ask if Jesus was enough for me. It is not every day that Jesus is enough. Sometimes I want more. Honestly I am human. I do want somethings extra. But God is always good to remind me that He is enough. 

With God's grace I hope to write the end of my life's journey with Him holding my hand as I enter the pearly gates and meet Him face to face. The hymn:

Some day the silver cord will break. And I no more as now shall sing. 

But Oh the Joy! when I shall wake, within the palace of the King.

Then I shall see Him face to face, and tell the story saved by grace.

Don't get me wrong. I am not suicidal again. I just want to think about my end. We all should. Because the END of day will come. And you and I will face God. I have to start writing the end of my life's journey as of now.

Tonight will begin with a prayer asking for direction. It shall be this:

Dear Heavenly Father

It has been a very busy day but not one without any thought of tomorrow. Thank you for the time to spend today. And thank you for the grace to finish the day. It was great to meet the kids when I got home. Thank you for them. Theodora made my day Lord.

Thank you so much for the promise that You will come for your children one day. Father only you know when that day is. Can I ask that You do not tarry? I know you are a merciful God full of grace and love. But You are also telling us that time is running out. So help me Lord to know how to write the end to my life's journey. Will I be caught up in the air? Will I be called home? I only pray Lord that when I account for my life, I can give you reasons for my unfaithfulness and poor stewardship of your talents. In the mean time Father, please forgive me and help me finish the job you have started in my life. 

There is no regret to be your child because You are indeed God. And I ask you give me grace and more grace as I continue to sojourn on earth. Truly this world is not my home and shouldn't be. But humanly, we are comfortable with what worldly goods we have. I pray Father you will hold me close to your heart as you purge me from all the dross of my life. I want to finish this journey with You.

In Jesus Name

Amen

Horatio G. Spafford lost every child he had with his wife. Lost every single one of his children. And he did not complain. Instead together with his wife, childless in the end, left to serve God in the mission field. So truly Horatio can say it is well with my soul. I want to be able to say that one day. When God remove everything, everyone from me, I want to be able to say it is well with my soul because I know God knows what is best for His kingdom and His glory. I will end my life's journey this way. That all is well with my soul because God has done so much already for me. Yes, blessed hope and blessed rest for my soul!

O for a thousand tongues to Sing!

There is something about hymns. Whenever I feel life's harsh reality and down or when I am happy, hymns come to my mind. Some hymns have stories attached to them. Today I want to share about this very old hymn written by Charles Wesley. Listen to the majestic choir's rendition. However there is no story to this hymn.

The New Testament tells us that hymns (from the Greek word 'hymnos' meaning songs of praise) were sung by Jesus and the disciples (Matthew 26:30) and that hymns are different from Psalms (Ephesians 5:19). Other than that not much is known about Christian hymns during the first three centuries of the Church.

Here is another favourite of mine:

The story is that:

rish born Joseph M. Scriven (1819-1896) was 25 years old, in love and to be married. The day before his wedding his fiance died in a tragic drowning accident. Heartbroken, Joseph sailed from his homeland to start a new life in Canada. While in Canada working as a teacher, he fell in love again and became engaged to Eliza Roche, a relative of one of his students. Once again, Joseph's hopes and dreams were shattered when Eliza became ill and died before the wedding could take place.

Although one can only imagine the turmoil within this young man, history tells us that his faith in God sustained him. Soon after Eliza's death Joseph joined the Plymouth Brethren and began preaching for a Baptist church. He never married, but spent the remainder of his life giving all his time, money and even the clothes off his own back to help the less fortunate and to spread the love and compassion of Jesus wherever he went.

Around the same time that Eliza died, Joseph received word from Ireland that his mother was ill. He could not go to be with her, so he wrote a letter of comfort and enclosed one of his poems entitled What a Friend We Have in Jesus.

So the next time you sing a hymn try and see if you can also find the story of the song writer.