What is generation gap? Do I experience generation gap? Do young people think I am not in their generation? These thoughts ran through my mind this week as the hols started.
A recent dinner on my dad's birthday revealed that my own nephews and nieces are ill mannered and disrespectful. I blew up at the restaurant and stormed out of it after blasting my 14 year old niece for her ill manners towards my dad. What to her was funny was absolutely rude and obnoxious on my part.
The incident happened when I was away in New Delhi. My brother's daughter is the middle child and I am very aware that she is not my dad's favourite. I paid special attention not to bruise her ego but this time I blew up. I don't scold her at all. I reason with her most of the time about her ill behaviour. She is not one who will pick up the school bag when she came home and I always have to pick up what she left behind in the bathroom or in the living room when she visited us. I thought that is love. But I got tired of telling her what to do because she is just not appreciating.
I bend backwards to shower my love on my family's little ones (although they are not so little anymore). But to have her treat my dad this way, I decided enough is enough.
Apparently the argument came when my dad had to look after all three of them (my brother's kids) on a Saturday. He was to give them dinner and the food stalls down my block were all closed. Not only were they not appreciating how this 72 year old man tried to think of ways to feed them, they messed up the house. Of course my dad was upset. My nephew (16) and my niece (14) and the littlest niece (6 and she is forgiveable), didn't help him clean up the mess. When my dad told them not to ever come again in his anger, my niece retorted that my dad should not regret what he just propsed. She also went beyond to tell my dad that he could not pretend to give her brother miss calls to get some attention. My dad was deeply hurt and angry. The minute I touched down he told me the whole story. I tried to understand her and knowing she can be rude, I tried to salvage the situation.
On Sunday when we walked into the restaurant, she didn't even greet my dad. Not only that she was busy stroking her rebonded hair. Mind you her hair was not curly or kinky. I was really furious. Then my nephew was busy wearing his ugly sunglasses in the restaurant that was lighted. So I blasted both of them. She just smiled at me thinking this is a godly way of warding off anger. And she never apologised. So I slammed the table and told my nephew and niece that this will be the last time I have dinner with them. I made it very memorable by not eating at all. I could not stomach this kind of arrogance.
When I told Qikun this, he told me it is generation gap. I told him it is rudeness and disrespectfulness and that should not have happened if someone taught them. I don't believe that to protect my niece, I have to tell her nice things. I believe that enough is enough. I really don't mind if she disowns me because I feel such self centredness is not to be tolerated.
A generation is 40 years apart. I believe we are in the same generation. I am more IT than my peers and I watch some of the shows that young people watch. A pastor I know actually sits down with his kids and watch their shows too in order to understand them better. I have sinc adopted this habit. I watch shows with my class sometimes or when I find the time. But I find out what they watch. A friend told me that the best way to find out what young people think and do is to go watch they watch.
I know this that as much as I want to agree with the views of young people today, I have to differ. I cannot agree that all that they believe are correct. Well, my dad always think I am wrong and I will be in his eyes. That is because we are different in character and our experiences have taught us different things and we learned different things too. But that is not a generation gap.
I believe all this talk of generation gap is just an excuse of poor communication. We have become so taken in by technology and a fast pace life that we shut our doors to those who are important to us. And when conflicts arise, it is always generation gap. What is so different in this generation that I don't already know?
I see the flower power theme repeated over and over again. You call it HIP and HAPPENING well, it is flower power for many of us. You call it COOL, we call it something else. But the fashion is that of the 60s, 70s and even the music is moving back to the old days. So what is new? There is nothing new under the sun. That is what God said. He knew from the beginning that we humans are not very creative people. We refry our fried rice. May be we add a bit more msg and a few more pieces of garlic to try and deceive the taste buds but it is still fried rice!
We should call what happened to my family last sunday a total overhaul of values. I want my niece to look at what she has become. I asked her about what she has done about the repeated advice I told her about picking up her own pieces. She just nodded. I know she was sad (of course to her she is hurt by my harsh remarks). But has she done anything about her laziness and her disrespect for elders.
Theodora and Tiffany saw the saga. They were extremely careful with me after that evening. I told them that as long as they are rude to any adults close to me, they will get a huge piece of my mind.
So the next time when you want to dismiss your parents' accusation about how rude and disrespectful you are with generation gap, think again.
Your parents like me are educated and thinking. We are not old foggies who have been hiding in the closet. The world we live in is more challenging than yours. You have exams to battle and homework to do and girls or boys to impress. We deal with the stock market, the life and death of the economy (aka your allowances too) and we pay for everything and we globalize the world for you. So don't tell us we cannot understand you. Think may be you should understand how great a generation we belong to. And the generation that I am in is the same generation you are in.
One thing is for sure. We are not going to get any better with this world. May the Lord come soon.
So...come Lord Jesus, come!
