You may not have heard this word. But this word was a relief for me when I found the reasons for the pain in my legs and my joints some ten years ago. I didn't understand why I always felt so tired when I was in Calgary. It was especially so when I was trying to finish my last leg of my years in the MA programme. I remember how one afternoon after an hour's walk in Market Mall, I had to ask Bonita to quickly send me home because I was just so tired. We went home in less than 20 minutes and I didn't even took off my jacket and I went into a deep deep sleep. I didn't wake up until 4 hours later when I was told that Bonita tried to wake me but I just didn't even answer.
I stunned myself upon hearing this and never thought much about it until I came home. These episodes continued on and off over the next two years and I could sleep for more than 12 hours without waking up at least once to even use the bathroom. I worried my mum a little because she just couldn't believe how sound a sleep I was amidst all the noise.
Some 10 years ago, I found the answer to all these tiredness. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia Rheumatica. It is a disease that will weaken the muscles over time and it will cause widespread pain to the body. I have experienced that before but for a long time I have been able to stay good. It is episodic and I felt it when I was in New York during the Harvard MUN. I couldn't walk very far and my pain was excruciating. The answer to this pain is always more pain killers, more sleeping pills. I stopped all that a long time ago as soon as I found out that the sleeping pills will make me very forgetful. But the pain is now all back with a vengeance.
Recently I fell into very deep sleeps again. The pain in my legs refuse to go away despite me trying very hard to sleep. The irony is that I look perfectly normal. Although my body is in sleep mode, I still have to go to work. I will tell people I am very tired but I look so alert. I just don't know how to explain. But I believe if I sleep, I can sleep anywhere and not wake up until the next 12 hours. This disease is close to chronic fatigue.
There is no known cause or known cure for this illness. I just have to make sure I am rest sufficiently.
Do I complain to God about this? Quite honestly? Well, no I didn't. Simple reason. I believe my mother suffered from it and I suspect it is heriditary. I have to work on it and hope not to get sicker by the years. I thank GOD my sister and brother are okay. I am so glad I am the only one in the family. My female cousins have it too. And it is always just ONE in the family. So I am unique! And all the more I don't have to be strong and brave when I cannot do certain things. I have to learn to tell myself that other people can help me. If I can walk longer and stand longer or stay up late a little longer, I win a little more time.
Thankfully I have friends and family to support me.
So I hope you thank God for a healthy body and use it to serve Him.
