All those of you who still have a mum, celebrate today with her. I lost mine for almost 3 years now. Saturday I was out with Florence and Leng to sing. Well, I picked a song by 凤飞飞。She cut this record shortly after her husband's death. The song was about wanting to fly together with her loved ones to where they are now at. And that song brought back all the memories of mum. I thought about my dad listening to the song. He would probably cry. This coming Saturday, I will drive to mum's graveside and once again remember all she did for me and the tremendous love she has showered me all my life. With her gone, I miss her more as I grow older because each day without her is like living without much purpose. My greatest objective now is to finish what I am to do and then wait for her to come get me with the Lord.
Or so I think... But life cannot be just about mere existence. Other than completing a day's work, is there anyway we can make someone's life brighter or better. If we have to live like that, won't this be so tiring? Well, surprisingly, this is the very source of my strength for the week.
After bible study, I drove Bee Yen to where I was to be...Pipit Road. We had a simple lunch of noodles and carrot cake and then I went to get some vegetables and meat. I even bought a packet of soup mix so the old ladies could make some cooling soups for this tremendously hot weather. I went to visit the 78 year old lady who lost her husband a year ago. She is a very cheerful lady. I asked her to share about how she became a Christian and her story touched both Bee Yen and I.
To think that she could not read or write but she believe in Christ is not only amazing but atest to the fact that Jesus is no respecter of persons. He loves all. Whether you are fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, dumb or smart (may be a lot harder for this group), poor or rich (very difficult for this group), He loves us all. She told of how when she was in her early forties, she was standing at Lorong 40 in Geylang waiting for a bus and how the Lord Jesus stood there and looked at her. She knew it was the Lord. So she went home and told her mother in law that she wanted to become a Christian. But her mother in law ignored her and the matter was then dropped.
It was only when it was a few years ago that she once again came to meet with God. Jesus did not forget or abandon her. Even though she lacked the courage then, the Lord came knocking again. This time, through her illnesses. She met a pastor at the Community Centre where he was giving out free lunch. He met her before but they never spoke. That day, the pastor invited himself and his wife to her house. They finally shared the gospel with her but she didn't believe. It was because of her swollen leg that took her to the Lord. The pastor prayed for her and she was healed. One day she fell in church just outside the door and she was embarrased to go again. So she told the Lord that she was too embarrassed and didn't want to go unless the Lord promised to stop her from falling. She never fell again after that. She is now a faithful Christian and attends every service on Sunday.
Both Bee Yen and I sat and just marvelled at how the Lord bring people to Himself. Before I left, I prayed in Cantonese for her. I also promise to drive her to the church for a meeting on the 23rd. I am so blessed on Saturday because my Lord showed me He is in full control.
Sunday was also very blessed. I drove dad and his friend to church and went visiting Siew Yong who has fallen ill really badly. Then I got a call from Joshua wishing me Happy Mother's day. This is the best gift ever because no one can understand what joy it is to be greeted such.
I thank God for Joshua and Melvin. Because of them, I got to be a godmother. And the pangs of looking after, praying for these two young men can be rather tedious. Most of all it can be rather unnerving watching them choose their paths in life. Although I wanted very much to tell them that they are wrong about some of their choices and sometimes I do tell them rather unpleasantly, I have to learn to watch them make some big mistakes in their lives. I learned from my mother how to watch because I am quite a handful myself and she must have felt the same way when I went ahead to bang my head against the wall. She always stayed very quietly as I went into one of the rages. And she would then cry silently. These my dad told me.
I must say that with these two young men in my life, I distinguished myself from my friends in that I get to experience what it is like to be a mother.They may not be mine but I got to learn to give them permission to love and care for me.
God has placed them in my life right now and I don't always enjoy what I go through with them. Sometimes the anxiety is terrible but in all, I learn to let God take control. They too had a hard time knocking some sense into me about treasuring my life. I must thank God that they are willing to take that step of faith to know God will control the situation.
I thank God for my godsons.
To be a mother is a BIG job with a lot of sacrifice and a lot of heartaches. But we will gladly do it because we will emerge stronger if our children don't kill us already. :)
Dear Lord
I want to thank you for all the mothers YOU have given us. Bless those mothers who bring their children before YOUR throne everyday with wisdom. Bless these mothers with faith that YOU are still on the throne and in absolute control. We pray for all our children you bless us with, be they godchildren, adopted or by birth. Bless these children with the love for YOU. May YOU train the children to know YOU more and more each day.
