3rd October 2006
Two days ago, mum recovered from fever. This morning, she shook with fever. Rebecca called me and dad turned back the taxi while he was sending me to NTU. Rebecca was surprised but calm. I have seen her shake before and so I hugged her and prayed with her. Rebecca did it earlier. When she is calmer, we took her to SGH. She has no fever when we arrived. By three we formally admitted her to the Oncology ward. There were no rooms, and so we paid for the price of 4 and got into a one person ward.

These two weeks have been really difficult for all of us. Ryan will be having his first PSLE paper tomorrow and we are keeping it from him. He worries and will be affected. I wonder how Serina is keeping up with it.

I am tired from all the labour and as much as my heart wants to give, I have no more energy. I could only walk. I now understand what Bonita meant when she said she just shuffle from point to point.

I know God is in control. He reigns.

Please pray with us tonight as my mother sleeps at SGH. She has an infection. We are praying it is not blood infection and if it is that the bacterial culture is fast reported so the doctors know what to treat her with effectively. I searched the internet and always with so much information, the worry indicator shoots up. I am worried. Have faith, people will tell me. I said yes but my heart has mixed feelings. On the one hand I want my mother right by me. I had great times with her, she is dynamic, strong, a fighter and a true believer of the Lord. But am I going to be selfish to deprive her of a really good rest. I don't know what to pray but for her to be happy. I love my family very much. And the best thing about being a family of christians is to know we will unite again in Heaven.

Tonight Richard is staying with her. I am grateful to my brother. He fasts and prays for her every day. We have sent out messages to ask friends to keep praying for mum. So please pray precisely the following: That the culture will come back with no blood infection. That the fever will be gone and the antibiotics address the issue once and for all. Pray that the doctors know what to do by tonight. Pray that mum's spirit remains positive. She was still telling my father to go to church. Pray for all of us, especially dad that he will rest well after he visits with mum tonight. Pray he will drive safely and continues to be hopeful.

Pray for Ryan that he will be able to concentrate on his PSLE studies. Pray for Richard and Serina that they will be able to find time to coach him. Pray for Rebecca who has a father in law in the hospital too and she now has to go to and fro.

Sometimes I laugh. How much worst can it get? I only know this...when there is life, there is death. When there is a union, there is a separation. But there is always HOPE and GOD. There is always an eternity to enjoy each other's company.

I love my mum and dad. Do you? What are you doing now for them? Must you do anything for them? If you have never done anything to make them happy, you better because you never know when time creeps up and say "Time's up!"

I will cry myself to sleep tonight and pray myself to sleep.

Good night