Many thanks to my GOD and Friends

I sent out a few sms messages and almost immediately there were replies, all congratulating me on taking the step to move out of the comfort zone. Joshua felt the peace. My dad supported me and also told me tonight that it doesn't really mattered how much money as long as I am happy. He finally saw through how unhappy I have been for the past three years or more.

When I woke up this morning, my dad was already awake. It was his day off and I was not surprised he was awake. And so I asked him if he couldn't sleep because he was worried for me. He told me he was worried. I told him I will get a job. Then I washed up and drove to school.

On my way, I heard the message tone and upon arrival I checked and found a very important sms. My friend was busy and this morning she asked me if I was really interested to go to this particular school that has been on my mind for the last 8 months. I told her yes. I am serious and so asked if I could meet the principal.

In fact, I emailed the principal yesterday asking for a chance to meet her. And tonight when I opened my email, it was one of the most encouraging email and an extremely flattering email from a senior education officer. She was thrilled that I remembered her. And will do her best to keep a talent like me. I am really honoured to be labeled a talent. I have so much to be thankful for and this just tops the day for me.

I also have friends who have asked their principals for me. And I have already got two offers to apply and chances are I will get in. One top school and one not so top. But I am going for this one that I chose. Because my heart is always going back to this principal. According to our last conversation almost a year ago, this principal was just impressed that I was so honest. She liked this about me. And my friend is also like this and she told me I am the best fit for this principal. I pray for clearer directions.

I also have offers to start a business with an ex trainee. I am keen. I am also burdened and one of my top priorities is to find more time to sit back and do God's work. And this will be my highlight for the job. I want to be able to support myself and my dad and also to serve God.

Peck San is returning on the 11th and she too wants to talk to me. There are many, many offers to work. I am so blessed by God. Thank you Father.

My godsons told me that I should not worry that there are no offers. In fact Melvin is very excited for me because every change brings an opportunity. I agree totally.

At my age, I should be settled down and should be contented with the high income and security. Yet I left a secured base to another ground, richer in fact but then I was poorer in my emotional being. The decision to walk out of this dearth is the best thing I have done in the last 8 months. It is so freeing. It is so refreshing now to watch how God is going to work. 

Joshua is also excited because he just can't wait to see what God will do next. He wonders about my next step. And like all my friends, they asked me to please take a break because I have worked too hard. May be...

Alot of my colleagues in my present school are sad. I mean their faces are sunken by my move. I am deeply touched. Some came up as if unbelievable. But I told them to be happy for me. They told me they are. But they are sad for my students. They now envy I have two more days of the school holidays. hahaha.

When I was in class this morning, I pulled alongside my class monitress to talk because she was very concerned about my move. I told her not to feel sad and to be happy for me. My class will get use to the new form teacher and he starts tomorrow. I am no longer needed to take charge and it will be great. More free periods at 8am.

I have one more week plus and I am done. 


Are you worried for me? Don't. Pray for me. Pray that God will lead me clearly because I don't want to serve money. I want to serve GOD and the people He sends me to. In my days when I can still move and do something for GOD, I want to glorify Him. 

When Joshua drove himself home last night, he too wondered what GOD wanted him to do. We all wonder. This I know. GOD just want us to obey.


I obeyed and came to this present school. I learned a lot of stuff. I learned to let go of money. I learned that I am actually able to handle any kind of students and still love the most terrible ones. I also learn that with GOD, nothing is impossible. I learn to trust the Spirit's leading.

I really don't know what tomorrow is like. But I do know I am wrapped in God's palm. He will provide.

Dear Father in Heaven

Praise thy Holy name. Because YOU live, I can face tomorrow. Because YOU live, all fears are gone. Because I know YOU hold the future. That is why life is worth the living!

I may not know what to expect tomorrow but GOD I know YOU are going to be there with me. I am willing to obey YOUR leading.

Thank you so much for all my family and friends. Thank you Lord for my godsons. Thank you so much for their prayers for me. It was not difficult to walk out of this wilderness because YOU are holding my hands. I am very very grateful to YOU for all that YOU have placed in my life. 

Please bless my students. Bless them with a sense of security. Bless them with the ability to finish off their year and excel. Continue to grant my students a great awareness of who YOU are. I know that Lord without YOU, I cannot accomplish so much with my classes. Thank YOU so much for creating a space in their hearts for me. I don't deserve it but I thank you for this space.

Most of all, Lord, YOU are indeed a wonderful maker. Thank you for the gift of teaching and for the many ideas you bless me with. Continue to work in me and continue to show me how I can best use this talent. Thank you for the principal who affirm my talent in teaching. Lord use me fully and may YOU continue to use my talent to bless the people YOU will bring into my life. 

Amen.



 
Bonita: This song is about embracing each day.



Bonita: This song say the day will be different because I trust and depend on the Lord.

I quit!

The decision to quit came about two weeks already. I have been deciding when is the best time to quit. I wanted to quit on the 6th of August because I just felt that it was a good time to do so. But then my colleague Barry told me to hang in there.

Yesterday after the staff meeting, the compulsion to quit was especially strong. In fact I told Joshua about my desire to quit before the end of the year and also told him what the meeting would be like. I have discernment. 

Throughout the staff meeting, I was very calm. I also knew that I would be the target but I kept my cool. I went home and the first instance was to quit.

This morning when I reached school, I told Samuel that I will quit and within two weeks. My resignation has been accepted. The load off my shoulders. Some of my colleagues whom I have grown rather close to are very sad. In fact, many of them are sad because they know that the students will suffer. They told me not to be rash but I told them that I have been planning for my exit. It is not premature because I feel the push to go. And I know it is GOD. Yes, I know because within me I know I cannot stay anymore. 


I drag myself to school. I lost my passion to teach. I am routine. I hate to be but I am. I really don't feel much for my work. But I like my students. Everyone of them. And I know if I carry on like this, in the end, they will not be learning. So I have to go. 


I kept my word with godsons. I want them to be happy so I need to be happy. I have chosen to leap into faith.

No, I don't have a job. But I have many friends who want to listen to me and give me jobs. I am meeting Leng Leng tonight for supper and she will listen to my grievances.


I spoke to Lily about this and she congratulated me. And she cautioned me to do a good job with my students so they don't feel lost. Actually I have been preparing my students for my departure a long long time already. I believe they are also used to it. They will not be sad for long. 


Why do I want to quit so suddenly? It is not sudden. I have been thinking alot. Money is really not everything. Not only that, power is absolutely not my cup of tea. And I don't wish to be threatened. I want to thrive not wither away. 


Yes, I will take a break. Yes, I will stand up. No, don't worry for me. Pray for me. Pray that I will take this time to seek God and pray He will give me the directions I so need. 

I trust God. He will provide. 


As my colleagues are saddened by the news, my friends are happy for me. Melvin said it right, I am moving on and out. Ronald is coming back from KL to start up a company with me. I have plans. But God must direct. 


With God all things are possible! I will climb another mountain and learn from scratch what He wants to teach.

Thank you Lord.

China is mourning for 舟曲

The debris flow at 舟曲 came suddenly at around 2310 on the 8th of August. Most of the people in this little town were asleep. Three major causes brought about the debris flow. First was due to building of the dam for hydro electric power. Second, it was because of mining and finally deforestation. The great need to develop China may not be so smart if we continue to cause land degradation. We may get the money we want but at what costs?

One young man told of how he witnessed the river increased in flow almost within seconds. Fortunately for him, he was at a friend's house way down the river. The next morning when he walked home he was shocked to find that mud had filled right up to what was once his house rooftop. He could only recognised it be because he could identify the potted plants his mother had grown. Both his parents died buried in the mud.

There were many scenes and you may want to watch some at this site: http://www.tudou.com/home/_8263846

How fragile is human life? One of the students in my school is going around talking about the end of world. He told everyone to treasure the family ties. This boy, I heard from some colleagues, was rather difficult to handle at times. But he does sober up a lot these days. Good for him. 

What eats you today? Work? 

Well, nothing matters more than the memories you want to keep.

A National Day break!

I took about 4 days off to visit some relatives and friends in Hong Kong with my dad. I thought since he can still travel, I should take him with me. I wanted to give us a break from the business of living. We work too hard and too stressed up.

Every time when I travel with my dad, we always fight along the way and so this time I have a new mission. I asked my family to pray that we will not get on each other's nerves and I believe they prayed very hard.

I also made sure I left dad with his friends and my relatives so he can really smoke his lungs out with them. I took a day off and visited with my friends I got to know in Calgary. I attended a church service preached in Cantonese. I was really tired and nodded off to sleep at some point in the message. The preacher is blind and he became blind over the years with failing sight. He was rather funny. But overall I thought the message was interesting.

Remember how I shared about the organic church? I decided I should not go to church at all. But the message was on going back to church. And later on Monday, I opened up an email and an ex-trainee whom I supervised back in NIE days, got baptized. Wan Ting is the last person I would think would become a believer in Jesus because she was into so many superstitions and stuff. But I am so glad she abandoned all these to follow Jesus. I brought her to IBC one Sunday and never went back after that because I was very caught up with my own search for a church. But she stayed and she is growing in the Lord. It is amazing how GOD works! Not by might, not by power but by the Spirit of God. I can see a change in her the last time we met in March. She is a great photographer and an excellent teacher at a top school too. 

I found it totally amusing about going to church now. I will continue to search for an answer. Until and unless the church is teaching God's children about Him, there is no use going to fellowship with one another because when we meet, we don't talk about GOD. We talk about our business, our earthly pursuits. Yes we do sing. But to whom? We have really got to look at how we come before GOD.

I also took this opportunity to think about what God wants me to do after I quit. There is a strong inclination to start my own little business with education care. I am not sure. I have been asking why God sent me to this school I am working now. I cannot understand why He puts me there and then gives me a strong desire to leave at the same time. I really have no regrets quitting this place because I really cannot wait to get out. The feeling is similar to when I was in my last year in a girl's school. 

I also went to meet a Chinese parent when I was in Hong Kong. The mother shared with me about her family and to my greatest amazement, I found out that my student's grandparents are both Christians. And this mother is not going to stop me from bringing her daughter to church. I am going to do just that. I am sure her grandparents prayed hard for her. May be that is why I am there now. I don't know but I pray God will lead me on.

And I didn't fight with my dad throughout the trip. He has also got to learn that I can look after myself. My cousins were all surprised that I could find my way to where they live even after not having been there for 3 years. I thank God for spatial intelligence. I have it. My friends were surprised too that I know their city so well.

This time, I also visited the mega brands malls. There were a few. All I saw were many rich mainland Chinese shopping for famous brands like Zegna, Prada, CK and others. And some even decked themselves with branded goods. However their poor fashion sense makes all these expensive brands look silly. 

I learn more and more that going back to the basics and the simplicity of things actually brings out more beauty in the person. It is not what you wear that makes you great but what you have inside you that makes you great.

I am very happy with my fake Abercrombie Ts and my not so branded pants. I still look expensive and real. Hahaha.

The minute I landed in Singapore, I could feel the rush of stress back on. I slept a little this morning and then went to work. It was challenging to try and stay awake for my first lesson.

Enjoy your week. Will blog again.

Do you see what I see?

Today I want to share about Sammi Cheng. I like some of her songs and do sing some of them at the Karaoke. But I like her even more now because of her courage to walk out of herself. 

Please to share with you: Her story.

For Bonita:
Sammi Cheng is one of the top female recording artistes in Hong Kong. After her last movie three years ago, she disappeared from the scene and went into hiding for 3 years. In the movie she had to constantly changed her weight. Gain weight, lose weight repeatedly as she enacted scenes of different age groups. She has to be thin so she will look like a young girl. She went on a diet of 2 apples for 7 days and still would train for the show. After the movie she decided enough is enough and went into deep depression. At first she denied she has it because she wants perfection in all she does, she couldn't let this blemish be on her life. But slowly she admitted to her deep depression and by God's grace she walked out of it. There was a voice inside her asking her to kneel before Him and to pray. 

When she was a child, she said the sinner's prayer but continued to live a life like she doesn't have God. She has a sister who is a Christian and I bet this sister must have prayed really hard for her. As she became more and more successful, she also went to the fortune teller to seek her fate. She did all things except coming to full surrender to the Lord. She was nasty, alwasys loved by her family no matter how rotten she was. But in her deep depression, the Lord reached out to her. She locked herself from the world and prayed for 8 months. She cried out to GOD for help. Some days she would yell out her desperation for God, some days she would pray silently. 

In these 8 months she met God and now she has walked out of it. Everything in her life is now back in order and only better. She is no longer the selfish, bitter, difficult artiste and is now learning to love and care for the people around her. 

Once again testifying to God's unchanging love.

She has everything, boyfriend, family, money, fame and lots of beautiful stuff but she has no joy. She found the joy of the Lord when she surrenders everything to Jesus. She never knew her gospel album will top the charts and it did. Not only did she get back into fame, she is now using her fame to win souls for God. The money she made from her gospel album has ALL gone to charity. 

Back to the basics in life is very good. No frills. At the end of the day, what matters most is whether you have time to enjoy it with your family. Young people today want everything but God wants us to choose. Mammon or Jesus. 

A very good testimony.