I have many blessings this birthday. Handmade gifts from my own family which I like and quite a few cakes to eat. Most of all is the company of friends I share this special day with. All of them think I am special enough and warrant their attention enough to set aside time with me. I am deeply moved and very convinced I am important in their lives.
My brother and his family surprised me with a simple dinner and had a moment of sharing about how important I am and how much sacrifice I made and the pains that I have endured. I am very moved by this act. Although I don't talk much in the family, I gained a lot of respect from them. In fact they know I don't demand much but I give a lot. My niece Steffi baked me a cake for that special night.
The next day my sister and her family came over to celebrate. We cooked a big dinner and the family reunited again to eat. At first, my sister and I would like a quiet dinner. But all her children protested and wanted to do something for me. They handmade their gifts.
There was yet another cake but it was a good cake to eat. Most importantly, my family was together and this always brings smile to my dad's face. It is always good to have the children over because they are his joy. I had to leave to meet a friend for a job proposal. But when I returned, I found my two nieces sleeping in my room. The following night, Lillie and Babita met me for dinner and we had a good catching up. It is always nice to have dinner with grown women. On that night, Babita was very open and started asking if we think she would not go to heaven. And I told her, we have been praying that one day, such a good person like her will come to know Jesus. She is going to stay with me in January for a month to complete her Msc in Counselling. I hope I can reachout to her for the Lord. We talked about plans to meet up more often before Babita returns to Nepal in December. I was so tired by the end of the day.
A surprise SMS came from someone I once knew as a friend from Australia. I walked away from this very abusive relationship when I went to Calgary to study. She caused me to lose a sense of who I am. It was only in Calgary I found and got acquainted with me. This person once asked me what I had given her since she gave me her youth. I knew one day she would ask me that question and so I was not surprised. I showed Bonita the letter and my reply was that she should move on. She never really let me go. I think part of it was the guilt. Guilty that she had lost me in the process of finding someone better. I have no regrets walking away from her. Many people told me not to hide in her shadows...and with much courage, I walked away. I will never ever regret not staying in that abusive friendship. I wish her well. But that is all I want to do.
I also receive a few SMS messages from students who are taking their exams. They are meeting right after the exams to celebrate my birthday. They don't have to. The thoughts are enough. I am very simple. Just want only diamonds.
I have learned that sometimes I cannot do everything. But I know that God can when I lift those I care about to God. This is my new found peace. And to all my students out there, I lift you up to God everyday. Because only He has the answers. Only He knows what lies ahead. Again, God cannot contradict Himself.
And my feasting continues. Although my appetite has been really bad, I still meet friends because it is the company that I enjoy. They reassure me of my worth as a person. Not because I could give anything at all but because I happened to be there when they needed someone to listen to. I thank God for such wonderful people in my life and continue to praise Him for all that He has done in my life.
Dear Lord
What a way to spend the 50 years of my life. Thank you for your preservation when I was so determined to end it all. Thank you for showing me that I need to surrender my Isaacs to you. Thank you for the peace that comes with obedience. Thank you for guiding me with regard to your will. I am so blessed knowing I am in your will. Thank you for the staff at where I am working and for the joy at my workplace. Please keep me safe and in your palm as I continue to serve. Help me to resist the devil and deliver me from evil people who scheme and plot against me. May they end up more foolish than wise. I know you have a timing and will give them their justified end.
I pray for those who has blessed me with their love and presence. Please save their souls and draw each of them closer to you. Because You are God, you know what is best for them too and again your timing becomes vital.
Lord, in my life, help me to glorify you in every way. Because you are enough and your grace is enough and your mercy abundant. What an awesome God you are!
In Jesus name
Lord I am grateful and thankful for making me WHO I AM. And because of WHO I AM, thanking for paying the price on the Cross. I AM YOURS and nothing is going to move me away from the CROSS. Keep me close to YOU always. That I will not go back to the path of destruction.
