The week has been good. Good because I am clearer about the directions to take. A bit fearful of what is to come and a lot of loss but I know God is ahead of me so He will take care of things.
Somehow my blogger is not working with all the edits I suppose I will have to make do with what I have.
I have spoken to the principal and my decision is made. I am glad he spoke to me because he only showed clearly where God wants me to be. I am confident of this that whatever I leave behind will in no way hold me back to surge forward. I don't know what to do with what I am going to do but as usual God will take the lead.
Everytime when He decides it is time for me to move, He will prepare the way. And throughout the week after my talk with the principal I feel a great sense of peace. I know what lies ahead is not easy. Some people are objecting and claiming that i will not make it. Some hinted that this is not my true happiness. My principal for one believes my decision to take up the new position will cause me great unhappiness because I am not one person who wants leadership.
All along I know I am cut out to lead. But I have never ever wanted to take up any positions because I know the tremendous amount of responsibilities behind leadership and I wanted to have more time to look around, travel and do other stuff. I have since young resented taking up any leadership position because I have always been ear marked for the positions. Even at church it was difficult to lie low and I tried very hard to lie low.
But I suppose it is time to take up what God has always wanted me to do. To be a leader is a lot of hard work. Leaders have to walk the talk and always think ahead of others. Must be visionary and always hold the interest of all those who follow them at heart at all times. This is my definition of a leader. May be it is not your definition and you can define it the way you want it. As a result of what I envisioned as a leader, leadership is something that I have always postponed throughout my life until now.
A born leader cannot hide from leadership. I led in my own way amongst those who are under my charge. In a way to teach is to lead. But it is now time for me to lead in another dimension. I want to lead teachers.
Pray for me as I take on this new position. It is different from teaching students. Pray that I will be able to learn and work with the teachers under my charge. A leader must learn to listen to the needs of those under his or her charge. A leader must learn to play with those under his or her charge. Sometimes even cry with them. Idealistic? Perhaps. But those who know me will know this, I will try my best to bring about a positive learning experience with those I am leading.
Many of my NIE friends and those who know me well have asked that I return to NIE where I could do more. In fact one of my colleague Steven told me that the school I am now at is too small for a creative person like me. He told me I should be at the university. This came as a shock because I don't think I am ever creative at all. Another of my colleague complimented that she has never seen anyone so inspirational in teaching a class like I did. My reporting officer also told another colleague that she has seen few that have impacted students. I think it is more like blasting them back to their senses...There are also NIE trainees I trained who always asked me to set up a school so they could work with me. I praise God for their confidence in my leadership and affirming me for what I can do. I can only do all these things because of Christ. If not because of the opportunity He has given me to meet all of you great people, I will not be who I am.
I thank God for the gift of teaching. I praise Him for allowing me to take my time to grow to be in the new position I will be taking up. This headship unlike others, is not about admin but about hearts, the very place I hope all those whom I will lead will find before my journey ends. God has His timing for everything and His Holy Spirit is gentle and patient. If I am not willing to be what He wants me to be, He wont' push. But I feel a great need now to move on.
I am so happy that throughout my stay these last three years God has given my students and colleagues to keep me walking the path. My students from 2007 to the present have proven to be supportive and kind to me. I thank God for everyone of them, for standing by me and giving me the respect for what I do. They have been most gracious. I have some very wonderful colleagues who stood by me in my time of need and their wonderful friendship and support made my stay bearable and a little more fun. Most of all I thank my almighty God for giving permission to leave something I so badly want to leave behind so I can move forward. And for His blessing and assurance that even though the land is a wilderness, He will water it for me.
I have a dream. And my dream is to teach wherever I go. My dearest friends will know what I always wanted to do. And it is becoming more of a reality as the days draw near. Thank you Lord for drawing me closer to the work you have started in my heart. And as YOU unveil the will for my life, I pray YOU will keep me focus on YOU and YOU alone. Make my path straight Lord.
