Battles...

A few nights ago, we attended an interfaith memorial service for those who departed since July this year. It was organized by the Assissi Hospice. Dad, Rebecca's family, Richard and Serina and I went to attend. Candles were lit for the dearly departed and then 5 interfaith ministers prayed for all those departed. Dad came home telling me that he thinks the service did him some good. Throughout the service, Dad was wiping his tears. I controlled myself. There were little sobs here and there, rather sporadic. But you could see people roll back their tears and composed themselves throughout. We are grateful the Assissi Hospice does that for all those who are grieving the loss of their loved ones.

I have to revisit some of the backlog issues of my life the past weeks. I was glad that Bonita was helping me through them. God sent her because He just know I needed to talk to her. I have not been talking to her for more than a year. This is not normal because I would call Bonita once in two months since my return from Calgary over the last 9 years. So two Sunday mornings ago, I called her on my handphone and told her what I was going to do.

I got this out of a TGIF by OS Hillman that I subscribed "They were left to test the Israelites to see whether they would obey the Lord's commands, which He had given their forefathers through Moses" (Judg. 3:4). God allows circumstances to develop around your life to give your faith opportunity to be proven. It is only when we are tested in battle that we become skilled warriors. You can be confident God will allow trials to come your way through situations like an unreasonable boss, a client who refuses to pay, a false assault on your character, or a difficult relationship that requires unconditional love. These battles are sent your way to test what you know in the mind in order that they might become part of your heart.

It was great testing of faith over the past weeks. A great test in knowing the grace of God and how much He cared for me. I needed to know how to handle these issues and each time when they come, I forgot God's promises and God's love until I deal with them and let it become part of my heart. I thank God that although I am still working through them, He is right by my side. Not only that, He will send help. I also had to clear up some of them so that I will not hinder God's work.

Someone once asked how come I like to settle things. I have to settle because I am instructed to settle all these before I can proceed. God has a plan and if I am part of the plan, I really don't want to hinder the power of God in the following mission trip I will be going on.

The coming weeks will be very busy for me as I prepare for a few things.

One of them is GRACE for ASIA. That sunday morning, I went to church seeking to answer some questions. I sat there as serene as ever though seeking and allowing God to speak to me, Pastor Ben came up and asked for volunteers to go distribute bible in China. I told myself..."this is going to be my turn now." Strange! Everytime he asked, I don't really heed. But this time, I just told myself that this has got to be me. So after service, I crawled slowly towards him, hoping if somebody else was in front, then I won't be the first choice. But no such luck. No matter how slow, I finally finished down the row and then told him I was interested. I asked him to check me out too just to make sure I am not a heretic or some cult. I mentioned my uncle and aunts names so he can call on them to check me out. The following sunday, I met Helen, the person organizing the missions to China. She works for a big company in Singapore and what a heart she has for God. She is going to quit to study the bible and then go reach out to the Chinese. This is a big step for her because it would mean totally relying on God to supply all her needs. She revealed that two names were given to her. Pastor Ben told her that I spoke more fluently and he left the decision to her. When she saw my name, she knew I have to go. This was because I submitted my name this year about going but because my mum was so ill then, I could not meet anyone of them. So she met me last Sunday. We finalized the details and then she prayed with me. So I am going to leave for Henan from the 26th to 30th November.

As a child, I read biographies of missonaries to Africa and China. I told myself that one day I would like to serve God this manner. I read about Brother Andrew and how he would smuggle bibles to Romania and parts of Russia. All so exciting for me. This trip is not so exciting for me in this sense...there is no espionage. The bible distribution is open. I want to obey what God has placed in my heart.

It is interesting about obedience. God just wants us to obey and work and prepare ourselves to serve in the direction He has given us. So many missionaries lost their lives during their service to God. Does that mean they are not in God's will? The important thing is that they obeyed Christ. They followed with faith that GOD will complete the good work that He started. How God end it, is really up to GOD. Don't worry, I am going to come back. Because I still have to fly to New York to bring students to Harvard to attend a Mock UN conference. Then I will be off to Calgary to visit Bonita and the Mountains! I will probably have Christmas in the air.

Bonita told me that she will be roasting a turkey for Christmas eve. I wonder if I will have Christmas. I hope so because I am due to fly back by the 27th Dec.

This is one of my favourite places in Calgary. The Valley of the Ten Peaks. It is at the back of the Canadian $20 note. The lake is always blue because of the minerals found in the bottom of the lake. Whether it is winter or summer, this place is always so refreshing. The occasional kayak can be found gliding throught the indigo towards the snowy peaks. The peaks are folded mountains. An they are magnificent. To stand below one of them is to be dwarfed by their majesty against the turquoise sky. I sure miss the colours!


Now do you know why I say if the Lord is willing, I would like to move there. Actually in the year 2000, I was going to return to Calgary for good. I had wanted to work in this rural town called Long View and work towards building a house there eventually. It is a really slow going town with nothing much except massive areas of lowland. It is the foothills of the Canadian Rockies. Why Long View? To get away from city life. I went to see this place with my good friend Elizabeth MCgrath.

The Lord called her home with her husband in 1999. When I heard the news, I was not only shocked. I couldn't even cry. I was numb. When I read Bonita's email that asked me to sit..I thought she was being funny until I saw the header again: "I am not joking. Sit." So I sat down in front of my desktop in my home room in RGS. After reading the news, I walked out of my home room and down to the staff room, found a room and sat again. So there goes my dream of moving back. Elizabeth is a great woman and another of my great friends. She was gentle and kind and exceptionally great sense of humour. If I have a lot of sicknesses. She had more. Mononucleosis, or the kissing disease is delibitating. If she was not sleeping, she was always wide eyed and smiley. She can sleep for 24 hours and not wake up at all until may be 2 or 3 weeks later. Her husband, Ingo, would clean her up, helped her to the toilet and also work on his business. What a dear man! There was so much love with the two of them. So going home together was good for them both. I hope to be able to meet up with their grown kids, Sarah and Geoff this Christmas. I met them a few years back. Now I can share their grief and I would like very much to go see Elizabeth's and Ingo's grave. I just couldn't accept the fact then. Now I can.

I love FALL for the colours and the great evening walks by the river close to Bonita's. I always took pictures of a tree near Bonita's. Each year the leaves looked different. Wonder if the tree is still there. But most of all, I love WINTER! Sitting by the window and watching Bonita's neighbour's St Bernard ran by was quite a sight. But the most exciting was to watch one of my psychology prof, sneaking into one of my course mate's house. I never really learned alot from this prof. He taught me cultural psychology. I did learn though that some races are born drunkards more so than others. And for your information, the Achinese are the worst off.

WInter is all about cold but also about warmth by the fireside. Bonita doesn't have a fireside. But what good if you have a fireside and no one to sit with as the flames flicker and flutter? I love Winter for the burst of spring. Yes, the green on each leaf is just so beautiful as the sun hits each of them at an angle.

Calgary is just so beautiful. This trip I hope to go capture all the beautiful sights on my new digital camera I bought to develop myself...the teachers will know what I mean and being an independent school, I have more to spend despite having less than 10 years. Yes, I have to rub it in because there must be perks to work where I work, right?

Have a good weekend.

The rest of you reading and are now overseas, I know you are cold. But hey...we have tons of water and then we fry later. So enjoy the cold. But keep warm! Going to join you all soon...Zippy!